Misterjax commented on yesterday's blog and then Darkman made one as well. darkman said me and Jax were silly. Then he followed up by saying it was in a good way. Thanks to both of you, and in fact I'll take this opportunity to thank everyone that has commented on any of my blogs. It's always  nice to know that one's efforts are appreciated.

Moving on to some silly definitions.

Atom bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide nothing can be done togfether.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they got the biggest piece.

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later.

Criminal:
A person no different from the rest of us... except that they got caught.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work

Divorce:
Future tense of marriage

It was postulated in the Washington Post that English should have male and female nouns, and they asked readers to assign gender to the nouns of their choice and to give the reasons why. Here are some of the best submissions;

SWISS ARMY KNIFE; Male, because it appears capable of a wide variety of work, but spends most of it''s time opening bottles.

KIDNEYS; Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE; Male, becuase it goes bald and is often overinflated.

HOT AIR BALOON; Male, because you have to light a fire under it... and there's all that hot air.

SPONGE: Female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

MAGIC 8 BALL; Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers which indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

WEB PAGE; Female, because it is always being hit on.

More tomorrow.

Some George Carlin one liners:

If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

This one is all mine.

Holy things:

When people are surprised or imressed with something they often say "Holy cow, holy mackerel, holy shit, holy Jesus, holy moly, holy fuck, holy Christ and on it goes. Now, with one exception all the things I just listed are quantifiable. We know what a cow is we know what fuck means, we know who Jesus was, but is there anyone out there that can tell me what the hell a moly is???

Ciao

Quote:

I used to be snow-white... but I drifted

Mae West