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I post a lot of jokes because I love laughter. I try to make all I meet a little happier. I get the biggest laughs in bed..
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This has been a tough year. I/m not complaining considering the alternative
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Tell them in church
Friday, August 18, 2017
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?' 

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, but please don't shove me either!'

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him .'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him 0.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out
while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest
your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.' 

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a babysitter.' 

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill.' 

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'  Little Johnny responded, '
I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to
have a wife.'
Posted at 1:03pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
do not tick off a woman
Thursday, August 17, 2017
One evening a husband, thinking he was being
> funny, 

> said to his wife,
> 'Perhaps
> we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim
> Fast'. 
> Maybe
> it
> would take a few inches off of your
> butt!'
> His wife was not amused, and
> decided that she
> simply
> couldn't
> let such a comment go
> unrewarded.
> The next morning the husband took a
> pair of
> underwear 
> out
> of
> his drawer.
> 'What
> the
> heck is this?' he said to himself as a little
> 'dust' cloud appeared when
> he shook them out.
> 'Cathy', he hollered into
> the bathroom,
> 'Why
> did
> you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
> She
> replied with a snicker.
> 'It's
> not
> talcum powder; it's 'Miracle
> Grow'!
> You guys just never
> learn...

> WOMAN!!!

Posted at 3:08pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
blond jokes oldies but goodies
Tuesday, August 15, 2017

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.  She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on
it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What's the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together!   Just yesterday they
took my license away and now today you expect me to show it to you?”

 A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor.  “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her
elbow and screamed even
more.  She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”
“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.” 
A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. 
Glancing at the car, he was astounded
to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to
his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked
her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde.  “They're watchdogs.”
In the swim-meet, after
the blond came in last competing in the breast-stroke,
 she complained to the judges
that all the other girls were using their arms.

Posted at 8:28am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
The Golden Years
Thursday, August 10, 2017

Medical amusement
A cartoon about an old man                 getting a colonoscopy. Funny web                 comics by Dan Gibson.
June 27, 2015 Saturday's Smile -                 LEANING TOWARD WISDOM
funny old people jokes |                 Tupperward piece so large it was used                 for a coffin
Herman - Jim Unger.
This is great!
Maxine on maternal instinct
Alright, who didn't do the final                 count ?! .... Herman (Aug/24/2015).                 Jim Unger.
 Spectickles Cartoon A Day Slip                 Sliding Away
"Spectickles" Cartoon A                 Day - Culinary Roulette - Bill Abbott                 Cartoons
I can'tbreathe..........too                 funny...still can't breathe...oh                 my....

Virus-free. www.avast.com

Posted at 8:12am (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
Dying with Dignity
Sunday, August 6, 2017

Dying With Dignity
I have already informed my family that

I will not be able to afford an expensive
nursing home which would allow me to
die poor and very old.
I have therefore moved

to Ecuador so that I can spend my
final years enjoying life, and dying with Dignity!

Oh, by the way, Dignity said to say hello

Posted at 12:49pm (MST) | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Report Post


Added: Saturday, April 25, 2015 12:59pm
Added: Friday, January 16, 2015 7:17pm
Added: Saturday, January 10, 2015 6:42pm
Added: Wednesday, December 31, 2014 9:28am
Added: Sunday, November 2, 2014 10:41am
Added: Wednesday, October 1, 2014 8:56pm
Added: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 11:28pm
Added: Friday, August 1, 2014 11:56am

Added: Friday, April 25, 2014 6:39am
thanks for the comments and hug on my blog
Added: Wednesday, August 7, 2013 4:35pm
Great Stuff! Bring on some more.
Added: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 4:13pm

Added: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 3:12pm

I'm 64 and my health and quality of life is going to hell in a handbasket, so
rapidly I've almost got to the point of being unable to take care of myself as well as my dog, so that spectre is looming large.

Buena suerte amigo.
Added: Monday, August 20, 2012 4:58pm
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