CuriousVanessa
Female, 42   USA
Female
Boston
Massachusetts, USA
3,128 mi from you
42
Divorced
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5' 6"
BBW
Not specified
Bi-Curious
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Seen:
Casual sex, BDSM
Men
9 hrs ago
These enhanced profiles will give you a much better insight into CuriousVanessa's lifestyle, desires, fantasies and more. Click on any of the links to open a new window and view CuriousVanessa's answers to questions on the following topics...
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My curiosity leads me to the most interesting places...
BBW seeking men
...including this website!

I'm 5'6" and wear sizes 14-18, depending on the type of clothing. I am a brown-eyed brunette who is half Japanese and a mixture of other backgrounds (Scottish, etc.). I am usually attracted to men who are taller and bigger than I am because of my sexual preferences.

I tend to ask a lot of questions but don't mind answering them either! I am not looking for a long-term relationship but it would be fun to find others to join me on my adventures.

If you're interested in contacting me, please send me an email. Otherwise, you can catch me in the chat rooms. Thank you!
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Yes, I really am curious most of the time...
I decided to start this blog to pose questions with the hope that I'll get some answers!
This blog is currently rated 4 out of 5
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Experiments in Writing - Web Cam
Tuesday, March 9, 2010

It’s been the occasional get together for years now.  It works for us: FWB, NSA.  He noticed that I bought a web cam last month.  He teases me about what I’ve been doing with it.  I enthusiastically tell him about how much fun it’s been so far.  He laughs when I call it “perving” and then starts to touch me so I forget about the conversation until later.

 

I enjoy chatting with many of the people I’ve met on SA.  But sometimes it makes me want to fuck so badly.  I know if I call him, he’ll come over.  No romance, candlelight, foreplay… just sex, energy, release.  Afterwards, I’m wide awake as usual while he has fallen into a deep sleep.  So, I start up the laptop on the desk in my bedroom.  I decide to chat until I am sleepy enough to join him again in bed.

 

I don’t realize that he’s watching me.  He hears me laughing.  He figures out why I’ve been calling him more than usual lately.  As I’m busy typing away, I suddenly feel him move behind my chair.  I look up in surprise and he smiles because he knows that I won’t stop him.  I start to squirm.  I don’t want anyone viewing my web cam to see this!

 

Before I fully recognize what’s happening, he has pulled my night shirt up from behind so that I am now exposed and he takes the material to secure my arms over my head so that I can’t type anymore.  He looks at the computer screen and notices that I have a number of people viewing my web cam.  He quietly asks me how it works so that he can open it up to anyone who wants to see me.  I don’t want to tell him, I’m already embarrassed that people can see my nudity and he can see how much I’m blushing.  So I refuse to answer him.

 

He moves my chair back so that he’s positioned between my body and the computer.  He spreads my legs so my leverage in the chair is unbalanced and I can’t really move.  He notices the web cam requests and starts accepting all of them.  I protest, telling him that I don’t know any of these people!  He kisses me to keep me quiet and starts typing in the chat room.  Oh no!  I yell at him to please stop, this isn’t funny anymore!  I try to release my arms from the tangle of my night shirt so that I can move out of the way or at least cover my nudity.  He informs me that he’ll be happy to gag and restrain me if necessary.  I know he’s serious so I stop struggling.  I begin to shake my head and quietly say, “No,” over and over again.  I feel like crying but at the same time I’m so turned on.

 

As soon as he is satisfied with his “audience,” he positions the web cam so that everyone can see my breasts, my pussy.  He’s a bit of an exhibitionist but I’ve never seen this side of him before.  He stands behind my chair and grabs a handful of hair at the back of my head so that my back is arched, my nipples are so hard.  He starts to kiss me and reaches down with his other hand to slide his fingers over my clit.  When he feels how wet I am, he starts to smile through the kiss.  Then he’s touching me in a way that I forget that everyone is watching.  He knows that I want him to do whatever he wants to do with me… over and over again.

Posted at 7:13pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Self-Perception - how accurate can it really be?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
I've been meeting new people lately in various circumstances and I've come to the conclusion that in some ways my self-perception isn't accurate.  I suspect that this is mostly due to the fact that I'm not into asking people what they think about me.  (When I'm really curious about something and I trust the other person's opinion, then I do ask.)  I also know that I've had to work on rebuilding my self-confidence in terms of sex and stuff after my nasty divorce.

So now I have all kinds of random thoughts about this topic, so I'm just going to quickly type some of them here because I have to get ready for work. 

Any feedback would be appreciated!

  • I think acceptance and validation can be wonderful. But it is also important (probably more so) to find those within oneself instead of relying on external influences or other people.
  • How much of how others perceive us is based on our own self-perception? I mean, if I *believe* something enough about myself, will that in turn, affect how others see me? Or, if someone I trust really believes something about me that I don't really see, how much does that influence my own self-perception?  Also, how much difference does it make when the beliefs are coming from someone who has known you for years, rather than a new acquaintance? 
  • I don't really let others see my "sexual" side very often. (I may not talk about it, but I'm certainly thinking about it and prefer to actually *do* things whenever possible.) I don't particularly think I'm "sexy" (for example, I don't really know how to flirt) so when I'm told that I am, I often wonder what makes me "sexy" - is it simply because I enjoy sex? Or does it have anything to do with my appearance?  (I'm more clueless than I'd like to admit in this area.)
  • How do standardized tests like the Myers-Briggs influence one's self-perception?  For example, when I was younger, I was rated as an "Extrovert" but lately I've changed to "Introvert."  I didn't actually notice any difference in my behavior... and the other variables are the same.  *shrug*
Posted at 7:41am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
Intangible Aspects of Chemistry
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I read Maureen's post about chemistry with interest, especially because I've been prompted to think much more about what makes me "click" with another person more than usual the last couple of weeks.  I apologize in advance for any rambling that may occur in this post!

Physical attraction is important to me.  I have friends who say that I definitely have a "type" although I don't quite see it that way given that my dating patterns can be rather erratic.  Given how I think (yes, I know I tend to overthink some things), I started compiling data on common attributes of the men I've dated in the last year.  They are:
  • Hot!  Enough said.
  • Intelligent. Intelligence is a HUGE turn on for me. This doesn't necessarily mean they're book smart or have high IQs. Wisdom, experience, common sense, etc., are all aspects of intelligence for me.
  • NOT psycho-stalker types.
  • Willing to try just about anything with me, given their own sexual interests.
  • Communicative. But it is important to note that there is a balance between total silence and talking my ear off.

I started thinking about what makes me truly "click" with another person and the list was surprising to me, because they are all things you can't predict until you're actually spending time with the person.  When these things happen, then the sex is always awesome:

  • Spontaneous laughter.  When suddenly something strikes both of us as funny and we laugh.  But if you actually ask me *why* we laughed, it's harder to pinpoint the exact reason.
  • Smell.  Sometimes a man (not his shampoo or cologne or whatever) just smells so damn good, especially after we have sex.  Even his cum smells good.  I don't know what it is.  I'm not saying that all other men are stinky or I don't like the way they smell but this is enough of a rare occurrence for me that it's noteworthy.  When a dude smells this good to me, I just want to keep having sex with him.  It's probably better for me that this doesn't happen all the time or I'd probably get into quite a bit of trouble.
  • Silence.  There are the awkward kind and then the comfortable kind.  Sometimes it's lovely to just be still and enjoy each other's presence.
  • Intuitiveness.  Sometimes when the dude just *knows* what I want and does it without my asking.  Oh my.  I love that! 

I'm sure there are things that I'm forgetting to list... but there you have it.  Oh my, now my mental porn-o-meter is going crazy.  Geesh! 

Posted at 8:38am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Normalcy? What's that?!
Friday, February 26, 2010
I'm happy that things have improved significantly for me.  I didn't realize how stressed out I really was about this situation, but now that I can breathe easier, I'm ready to have some fun!

So, I became a VIP member tonight.  A man here (who shall remain anonymous) was a big catalyst for this decision.  Although my sexual (and kinky) to do lists  are seemingly endless, when things just "click," I can forget about the lists and just enjoy myself. 

Here are some things you should know about me if you want to meet me in person:
  1. I don't host men at my home.  If you want to get together with me, we can figure out other arrangements.
  2. I am not into drama.  All the men I date know that I am seeing others.  I do NOT want a phone call from your wife, significant other, girlfriend, etc.  If you don't know how to be discreet, then please don't waste my time.  On the other hand, if your wife, significant other, girlfriend, etc., wants to meet me too, I welcome the opportunity to get to know both of you.
  3. I have a hunch that I don't make a very good girlfriend, at least right now.  I am just too busy with work and life and everything.  So, I'm not into exchanging lengthy emails or talking for hours on the phone.  When I have "free" time, I definitely know what I want to do in person!
That's it for now!  It'll be interesting to see how this all develops!
Posted at 5:58pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Is it August yet?!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I'm so excited!  I made my hotel reservation for the Meet and Greet that is happening in Springfield, Massachusetts this August!  I'm really looking forward to meeting some of the wonderful people in the LL chat room... and make some new friends, I hope.  (PssyGalore, thank you so much for organizing this!)

Is it August yet?!

p.s.  I'm still looking for good book recommendations.  While that's not nearly as exciting as the M&G in August, I still have to get through the next month or so and I have lots of time to read.  Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Posted at 7:46pm (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
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Here's 10 inches to be "Curious" about
Added: Monday, March 8, 2010 11:44am
Just AWESOME
Added: Monday, March 8, 2010 9:34am
just a note to say how much i enjoyed our chats last few days
Added: Friday, February 26, 2010 3:33pm
Hi back, Vanessa.  Looks like the boys like you.  I'm jealous.  Check out my new photo. 

Love
Added: Saturday, February 20, 2010 8:41am
My ""little friend"" wants to hear both your language ......

Added: Thursday, February 18, 2010 1:12pm
Just AWESOME
Added: Sunday, February 14, 2010 6:04am
How you doing gorgeous?...would love to chat with you sometime...feel free to msg me back and let me know what you think..

Take care and all the best gorgeous..@};- ;)

Jamil
-xxx-
Added: Saturday, February 13, 2010 5:34pm
Added: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 12:39pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!  
Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 10:27pm
                   
Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 7:51pm

Happy Birthday to You

Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 2:26pm
     Hope you have a great day Cheers
Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 11:33am
Hi Vanessa   just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday   On this your day of Naming may God bless you and keep you safe may he watch over you today and all your days to come      be safe and enjoy the day :)
Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 6:09am
Happy Birthday!!!  Haven't seen you in chat in a while.  Hope you are doing well.  I have been out in Mass the past few weeks, could have taken you out for your birthday.  Hope you have a great day.
Added: Friday, February 5, 2010 4:40am
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Added: Saturday, December 12, 2009 3:12pm
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