Goyahkla
Male, 58   Belgium
Male
Antwerp, Belgium
10,558 kms from you
58
Single
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4 days ago
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Days of Wonders :)
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not only for 1 day
Sunday, June 2, 2013
 It stays here..it's very very true
Posted at 9:05pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
For those
Friday, May 24, 2013
... Who wonder were i am.

For those few who mis me i do am sorry.

In the old days i almost lived here, i come here now maybe once in a few weeks.
The magic, is gone.

I moved on in the world, because not moving on means death, mental death that is.

So i'm splitting my time now between my furry kids, 3 of them. Riding my brandnew Streetglide (yes a Harley) and do what i do best.
My friends know what that is.

Keeps me busy, even tough sometimes my head seems to be filled with buzzing bees.. a kind of humming when i focus on something not important. I wonder if that feeling comes together with being old..hmm..

Don't worry 'bout me, i'll be allright.

I'm the weed that comes up and torn out but never can be destroyed.

I learned, even on my old age, that people take you for granted in many different ways. It's their way, or the highway. Nothing goes in between. Yet, i don't Judge.. not for me to do.
Every man or woman, is the direct result of their genepools, their experiences in life. Some of them are headed on , from birth, to a collision course with something that will kill them instantly, or in the end after a while.
Some of them, don't even know why they are alive, what their purpose is in this life.
Some of them blame the world for everything, even tough that is not so.

We just can't help ourselves, or don't care to do so.

I'll be back, just..not now.

And for that special one, still.. no, i don't date. I just do what i do best and that is taking care of myself.
This time, with more care. More..what is the word in English..carefulness?

Something like that.

Never be angry on a person, they can't help who they are.
And it's a waste of emotion for sure.
Smile and try to let your eyes smile to or people will notice.
And be good..for your furry kids..because their Love, is the purest from of all... No lust, no desire, no wanting something with a time tabel or endless ragings....No.. there is no substitute for the warmth in they eyes of my Bitch when she wakes up next to me. Paw on my mounth...ever so gently.

There is no purer form for me.

I read this again, just now and i seriously begin to question my mental ability's..God...what lonelynes can do with a man but then again, it's like the cute picture with the bear:

'I'm not alone, because lonelynes is Always with me'

:)

Posted at 8:40am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
True ..
Friday, January 25, 2013

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry, and Help me. Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now--Let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. You have to copy & paste this one, no share button, because kindness is a effort given from the ♥ not the press of a button

Posted at 9:12pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Life
Sunday, December 2, 2012

At my age, 53, you don't get suprised so fast anymore then when you're younger..
It takes a while before you learn to trust anyone else, in my case, that would be a woman. 
You grow to a feeling that you tought you'd never have anymore.. at least, not expect on a sex dating site.
They say, I always say, Love, finds you..you don't go look for it. If it is meant..it will find you.


Thought Lady Love found me in the autumn of my life..once more.

Everyone has secrets, things, you don't talk about with no one.. never..
Things, you carry inside deep within your Soul because you know people judge you..as they always do. It's just human nature..that's all.
So..it takes a VERY special kind of woman.. a woman you dream of knowing all your life to open up to.
She knows you by heart..all the dark and hidden secrets from your whole life..and she says she still loves you for the more..

Everyone is responsible for the things they do in this life.. For everything you do, there are concequenses.. like rimples in the water of a huge lake..when you trow a stone in it.. Those rimples reach the fartest shore line.

The only things you are NOT responsible for are those who were done to you.. outside your will, outside your power.
It changes a man..every experience in life, every turn and twist you experience changes you..and usually not for the better.

I believe, every human being has something i call 'a bucket' inside of him.. For a normal regular person, that bucket would be still pretty empty when adulthood hits you. Mine, was overflowing all the time.

I am known to be a loner in my world.
Someone, who doesn't need anyone..
In my world, being depended on anyone weakens you..it addicts you to a person or a thing. It dictates the actions you take, for better or for worse.

You grow to be unforgiving..because you wade trough shit and blood your whole life, from day 1 to begin with.

It's not all that bad..you know.

It enables you to be with a woman for about 12 to 15 years.. a woman that shy's away from every touch you make because her childhood is something that will never make the big screen in the movies..

True Life, is much more horrible then a movie..believe me, i know.

It makes it possible to accept that she used you in her own way, not realising it..and you forgive her because it's not her fault, not at all.
And for more then 9 years..you lay next to her without even touching her..because it evoces a panic attack the likes you will never see..untill she realised she's in her own bed.. The only time you actually hold her close, naked..is when she cries her eyes out from that same attack..because of the memories stirred up.
And after that.. all is back to normall..if you can call it normall.

I got operated on my right hip, when i became 50, 3 years ago. The operation lasted 2x as long..
Today, this is a rather normal procedure they say.
I got the 140 inch scar to prove it and my bones hurt when it gets cold.. That 'thing' in my body gets cold as ice when it freezes..it's the weirdest feeling.

When they sedated me, put me under, i was smiling..i was happy i would be sedated.
My hip, dislocated a few times in the year before..while i was doing my thing..
I'm used to pain, both body and mind..
Pain , i always say, is my friend..

He will last with me,faithfully, untill the day i die.
He will never leave my side. It's just annoying that's all. But i was happy to go in.
Under sedation, my body would not, totally not, relax so they could operate me. My muscles were so thight they couldnt' go in, to reach my bones.. That is what they told me. So..they gave an epidural to.. after they waited untill the very last second, after they gave me more sedation for that mild chance to relax. It took them just under 4 hours, to do an op' which usually doesn't last more then 2.

Few things happened then, after i woke up.

First thing i  tought and this is true, i tought that i didn't wanted to live my life any further like this.
I was done playing i had a sister..
The girl in question was very special to me..
So many years ago, i fysicaly saved her from a gangbang..in a nightclub. Doesn't matter what race they were. There were 6 of them. I solved it. Next week they came back with hardware, i solved it to.

A life you save is a life you are responsible for. THIS alone already, is what makes it special..made her special for me. Even tough i showed her the whole world (never made it to the US tough..) i was done. We parted, i set it in motion.
Things happened afterwards.. things, i could never ever suspect they would.. but they did just the same.

I grew even more into myself, shutting down from the world. My profile here, i had erased a few times before that..
Got sick of the pussy pics and offers, like on a silver platter. Felt like a price bull.. I think many girls feel like this actually..weird, but true.
So every time i came back..because between all the Junk, i really had some long time friends here.. :) people who wished me nothing but the best.
For them, i came back.

Then..out of the blue you meet someone, and from the first second on you know that she is that special one.. even if she lives across the Atlantic ocean..far away.  I wasn't looking at all.. my profile said, and still does, 'friends'.
She had , and still has her own reasons for being here.. everyone has, right? Slowly, but surely like it was meant to be we grew towards eachother.. I became human again..a bit, piece by piece.
People actually see me smile from time to time..
a very rare thing.

I Loved her..Still do and i guess i will always continue to do so. Love..isn't a button you can switch 'ON' and 'OFF'. That button , once he's pushed, he's there for life inside of me. Much to my misfortune.

Out of the blue you get a letter, making you feel judged..and trialled at the same time. You don't expect it at all.. and you go down.

That would be one of those life determent moments..you know, you don't see them coming but still they hit you hard.
You go down, no questions about it.
I don't care who you are in the world, what you can do or how much money you have..you go down , hard. That is, and only can be, if you still are human at least..

And when i fall..I fall hard.
And i grow cold as ice inside myself.. a conditioned reflex for those who know what that means.

If i am one thing, that would be i'm not a stalker ..
I have had that experience personally one time in my life..person in question saw actually the chance to rent an apparment right were i could see it from my balcony at the time. It scared the shit out of me.. people, are weird at times !
So the woman in question.. fact remains that i still Love her and i'm not ashamed to say this.. i will never trouble her again with my written words.

I don't like pain..
I am guessing no one does.. if for example it's not in your BDSM resume pain can also hurt there, fysically maybe not..but mentally yes.
BDSM is a thing based on trust, complete trust..

Fysical pain, doesn't hurt me at all.. i go trough it every single day and it wakes me up in the middle of the night sometimes.
It's just annoying..that's all.

Pain, you can only get from someone you trully Love.. someone you trust with your life. Someone you would die for if needed..if it was a choice between you and her, you would make sure She would survive.
That, kind of Love.

I have a friend, a former SAS operative who has his own 'bussines' now in Eastern Europe.
Anyway..he called me friend. 
When i gave him the eyebrow he smiled and said his, and his mates, definition of friend means that if the guy beside you, if you don't want him to be around when you die, go to the other side that, that guy is NOT a friend, just a waist of space and air, not to be bothered with.

She was my friend. My Love.
I sound like a love sick dog in my teens but as someone once said..

'I know, i'm Loves Bitch..but at least, i'm not afraid to admitt it'

True words..

I mourn a friend now.
A Love i will never 'see' again, read again or anything else..
So part of me dies inside, some more.

Still..you can't be angry at someone you love..can't be mad.. you can't lie to yourself..

Still..it's hurts like nothing else did before..

My grandmother once said to me when i was young

'Baby..a teacup that fel down and is broken, you can glue together again as much as you like..but you will always see that once..it was broken'

It never is the same..it will never be, trust, is a funny thing that works both ways.

I don't expect that many people will actually read this..it makes me sound like a crybaby.. but i always tried.. to stay pure. To stay faitfull to my own feelings..if that is not what a man does..then i'm not a man at all.
Maybe, i'm from another planet. An alien..God knows i feel like that all my life.

There is a word for what i'm about to say, can't remember it, but know i don't mean it in this way.. Know, i mean it to be true.

Be happy..persue your dream..take care of the ones you love so dearly..you know who they are.
Forget about me.

Somehow, i felt the need to write this..can't explain why..I'm not the most open guy in the world as some of you know.
Everyone of you has felt this one time or another. Those people, will understand why i did this, maybe.

This is not to talk trash about a woman who has a difficult life on her own. It made her..react.
I know.
I understand.. but what she never accepted to believe is that it's me..who's the 'broken teacup'.

I will always love her for that.

For those who understand, thank you..

For those who don't..come get some.. i'm in a terrible mood at the moment..





Posted at 9:40pm (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
a strange thing happened to me..
Friday, October 12, 2012
I do am tempted.. having found that special Lady for me..Even given the fact that she lives out of my continent..which doesn't mean shit to me.. I do am tempted..

I'm getting to old for this kinda shit (Danny Glover - Leathal Weapon)

The other day i got a real nice message..a small letter more of the kind. It was well thought out, use of words unusuall for this site.. so that was a very nice suprise. This Lady i keep out of the loop..a gentlemen never tells.
Anyway..she took the matter in her own hands after the first letter and asked me if i had any pics of my reproducting organs... (nicely put yes?) .  I had to decline that question..Never saw the use in spreading the Love in public..even though i was raised in the early 80thies.. Those, were the days :)
I answered that and got a reply that stated, somewhat suprised but respectfull never the less ! That this after all..;was a sex site, that people expect such things and i couldn't ignore these 'items'.

At my age, i have trained all over the world.. I have seen more men showers in my life then the usuall person in the street so it's safe to say that if you seen a few of them (they come in all sorts and size) you have seen them ALL. Same goes for boobs..and whatever iS under there.

For me...SEX, starts in the head..In that grey matter..we call a brain. We don't - not all of us - think with our little Head...some of us actually do prefer to take things slow..Why? Respect? Character?Personal vieuw on things? Take your pick.. I am in no way brought up in a Monastery, infact i can say that i have lived more then 4 lives if i'm correct.. that makes i still have 5 left.

Is it so then, that, in order to have a profile here..one must be without any prohibition? With just the meaning of furfilling your animalistic feelings whatever they are?
I don't know..i dont see it that way.
The reason why i'm writing this down is because it bothered me more then i could imagen.. Maybe, i'm a Dinosaur;..one of the last then :) It's all good, there only has to be one of me..that'ts more then enough for this world.

Maybe i will maybe i won't. There are people here, girls all alike..with whom i have a very individual contact with.. Being me, it hardly ever goes about the S word..but still, it feels good and i thank all of you for being there for me.. You are all on my friends list..you know who you are.

Talking, emphatie can make a man's life richer..for the better that is. It learns us the wide variety of people and yes they DO come in all sorts and sizes.

As a groundrule from me, here also in my daily overseas life..I respect everyone. Untill they give me reason to think otherwise, and that can only happen once.

It never happened here..for that, i thank you all. Gonna close up now..with a picture i got from my One.. She's got my number pinpointed to a science..knows what makes me tick, instinctivly and takes the time to set my mind at ease...simply, by being herself. I deeply Love her for that.

Suggestions for the E-Cards?
There are none...who speak about Love... maybe one day the Powers that Be will fill in that wide gap..and leave the rest just as they are :)

Thank you for reading a man's busy mind at 4.30am..saturday morning.. things get deep then :)



Call me anything you want.. she is right..this is infinite more beautifull then money.. or anything other people want in life..

I wish, it was me.


Posted at 9:39pm (MST) | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Report Post
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Thank you for the comment on my pics baby !
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for the tickle...
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 Thanks for the tickle...
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You are such a sweet, caring man, .
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thank you for the Valentine's Day wishes
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Thank you for the sexy comment on my profile
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Thank you for the tickle...
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.....for the tickle.....
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