•  Medicaments to soften the skin, enlarge the breasts and round off the angles. 
• Light exercise to keep the weight down.
• Laser hair removal.
• Professional manicure and pedicure.
• Beauty parlor hair do.
• Make-up consult and practice sessions, until I am expert!
• Instruction in all of the above.
• Learning the walk.
• Learning the talk.
• Practicing the above on self and the other of like mind
  
• Long shopping trips en femme until a walk-in closet is filled with gowns, dresses, skirts and blouses.
• Likewise for shoes.
• Likewise again for bras, panties, corsets, garter belts and hosiery!
• And, likewise thrice for toys... you know the kind I mean!
• A professional photo shoot.
  
• Instruction and practice in the giving and receiving of sensual pleasures.
  
• Looong bubble bathes with sips of Absinthe.
• Followed by the kissing, nibbling, licking, inserting and rubbing together of all of the interesting geography of the transgendered body. 
  

Hello there!

Some of what I'm about to write is pulled from some other things that I've written elsewhere around here.  So, if it sounds familiar, that's why!

I am a 57 year old a closeted virgin who has been dressing on and off since she was about 12 (it's funny that I remember that "so-right" feeling, but not the exact age) with some" time outs"  because of feeling guilty, perverted or just being "wrong"  and all of those other things that we suffer until we finally learn that it's just HOW WE ARE and that it's not really a choice.  I mean, I have even thrown my whole collection away and sworn off the whole idea on a couple of occasions, only to slide into depression and then come back with a "gurly vengeance."  Would that I had defined myself in my early adulthood, instead of letting a society (and a fundementalist religion) without a clue do it for me!  The fear that those attitudes cause forces a dishonesty that then involves others that you care about and they have a difficult time because they have a set of expectations (that doesn't mesh with reality)  of their own as a result of that same process.  SO many people don't understand that one doesn't sit down one day and "decide" that you're transgendered or homosexual, heterosexual, asexual, hermaphroditic or whatsexual; it's ALWAYS there, and, depending upon one's circumstances, we hide it to one degree or another just to survive.  Most of the time I feel that the only people who can REALLY understand us are us.  That's not to say that some of you gentle admirers out there don't get it, so please don't get your boxers up your butt!

Thank goodness for the internet!  I shudder to think where I might be had I not finally learned that I am not alone and that there are very good reasons for my feelings.  So, I know that I can't ignore this, but, at the same time, I'm not in a position to go anywhere and do anything that I desire due to the fact that others are involved in my life that I care about  and I'm pretty certain that they wouldn't be able to deal with it very well.

I've also learned that some North American Native people refer to people like us as "two-souled people." and they are accepted as one of life's mysteries.  I'm not a native and I'm not certain why that particular elder chose to share that with me, but I've no reason to disbelieve him (God, maybe he could "see" me!).  I do like that "two-souled" idea, not because "two souls are better than one," but because it DOES feel that way to me.  I don't have any sexual desire for genetic guys, but I do hunger for another "two-soul."  Gurls getting femme w/pretty bottoms to kiss, breasts to nibble and penises to pander to.....drive me absolutely crazy.  Certainly in my fantasies..... in reality, I've only been able to "entertain" myself.

So, now, where to go?  What to do?  And, what about Mary Lou?

More to follow, as it occurs to me.

Roni