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tavyone

Male, 56 New Zealand

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Christchurch, New Zealand
11,721 mi from you

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A discreet relationship, Casual sex, Friends

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15 hrs ago

These enhanced profiles will give you a much better insight into tavyone's lifestyle, desires, fantasies and more. Click on any of the links to open a new window and view tavyone's answers to questions on the following topics...

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Men Seeking Women

Nothing can come into your experience unless you summon it through persistent thoughts.
It is impossible to feel bad and at the same time have good thoughts.
the feeling of love is the highest frequency you can emit.The-greater the love you feel, the greater the power you are harnessing.

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Re Blogs

All blogs are out of a book I have and I only post as amusement in no way are they my beliefs I hope all enjoy as no offence intended Have a great day

This blog is currently rated 4.5 out of 5

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The pig

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Tony Blair and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Tony told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About 1 hour later Tony sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you", asked Tony.
Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter ripped my clothes off and gave me a blow job.
"My God, what did you tell them", asks Blair.

The driver replies, "I’m Tony Blair’s driver, and I just killed the pig".

Posted at 7:27pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post

Hearing confessions

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand...and try sayings things like, "Yes, I see," and "Yes, go on," and, "I understand."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand, and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, ’No sh*t?! What happened next?’

Posted at 11:31am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post

History Mystery

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

This is weird and hair raising

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause:
Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!

WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?

INCREDIBLE
1) Fold a NEW PINK $20 bill in half...

2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below

3) Fold the other end, exactly as before

4) Now, simply turn it over...

What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!
COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE

As if that wasn't enough. Here is what you've seen...

Firstly The Pentagon on fire...

Then The Twin Towers.

...And now .. look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
It gets even better!! 9 + 11=$20!!

This is too interesting to pass up!
Pass it on to your friends who have nothing to do.

Posted at 10:21pm (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post

The dentist

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A man went to the dentist because his tooth was hurting.
The dentist told him after the examination that he need a root canal.

The man replied "O.K. lets do it".

The dentist told him he will feel a pinch when he gives him the injection of the numbing agent.

The man says "No Doc I am allergic to that."

The doctor tells him "O.K. I’ll give you Nitrous Oxide."

The man says "No Doc I am allergic to the gas."

So then the doctor gives him 2 pills with a glass of water&the man takes it.

The doctor comes back in 10 minutes & the man says "Doc will those 2 blue pills kill the pain?"

The doctor replies "No, that was Viagra."

The man says "Viagra!, I don’t need that! What’s that going to do for me?"

The doctor replies, "It will give you something to hang on to."

Posted at 11:35am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post

Caught with his pants down

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.

"Oh My God! Hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to her lover, "and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!"
"I can’t jump out the window!" came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets. "I’m naked and it’s raining cats and dogs."
"If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!" she replied. "He’s got a very quick temper and a shotgun!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon. So he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could. It wasn’t that effective!

After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh, yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you’re running."
Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
"Oh, yes!" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Only when it’s raining," he replied.

Posted at 10:36pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post

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TheOriginalAngel

Thankyou for the birthday greeting, it was appreciated

Added: Thursday, February 18, 2010 5:16am