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 wawagirl
Female, 52 United States
Female
credere
California, USA
4,199 kms from you
52
Single
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5' 8"
BBW
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Hey Everyone! Firstly,let me state this... if ur married or attached, stop here. I'm not looking for a MARRIED man. I am looking for someone with whom i can share good times, happy thots and life as it happens. someone that can accept me as i am, warts and all. i know he's out there somewhere - a man that is honest, means what he says and says what he means - who is kind, compassionate, gentle, soft, but yet hard when he needs to be. One that knows what he wants and wants to go get it. kick ass and take names.
a man that truly appreciates a woman for who she is, as she is. As stated, I'm a BBW. that means im not a size 4 or even a size 18. ok? i prefer to be upfront from the beginning. If that scares someone off, sorry. I believe in taking things slowly, one day at a time, seeing where they lead and then following that path until it ends. I'm not here for phone sex, cyber sex, web cam or to send u pics to wank off to.
life isnt always rosy on the path i walk and often there are obstacles in my way. i try to step over those that i can, and being human, i sometimes whine about those that i cant.
if you can take me as i am, and dont mind some thorns among the roses, drop me a line and tell me about urself.
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food
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
wow... i guess i have so many blogs and journals, i cant remember how long it has been since i have entered in any one of them at any given time... didnt realize it had been so long since i have posted in this one...any way, on july 20th, 2010 i made a life altering choice and had WLS. (weight loss surgery). this choice didnt come quick or easy. as my weight seemed to spiral upward beyond my control, i knew that i had to take back control of my life. after an abrupt ending to what i thot was the perfect relationship, being forced to retire after 30 years, and losing my dream house... the stress had been unbearable and i had turned to my best friend ~ food.
now, i will never be a skinny girl. not in my genes. not made that way. however, in the 30 years of my career, i had gained about 175#.. more then another whole person. my knees are fried. my feet painful. high blood pressure, sleep apnea... u name it, i had a lot of the side effects of being morbidly obese... ugh.. i hate that phrase. morbidly... nothing about that is kind.
so... deciding it would be very difficult for me to find another job at the moment, with all the difficulty i have walking very far due to my knees, i did a LOT of soul searching and praying. it amazes me that from the deepest depths of darkness, i was able to find a rope, a helping hand, and realize that the light i saw at the end of the tunnel, wasn't a train..
so... i am embarking on a make~over of sorts, getting my health, and my life, back on track. i enrolled in a 5 mo class, required for any WLS. only missed one class. took another few mos after it was over to decide if in fact, this really was the right choice for me to make. i am a sugar addict. could i really give it up? forever? i had slowly cut down to next to nothing with sugar and decided yes. i needed help. i could no longer control the love that i had ~ still have ~ for food. went to all the seminars and all and decided that the roux en y was the best choice for me. so, on july 20th, i had surgery. i lost 21# the first week and thus far have lost 36# total.
again, even tho i am losing the excess baggage, i am gaining my health. i went from a liquid diet, to adding the mashed potatoes, refried beans, egg, cottage cheese, tuna... to now adding chicken, turkey, fresh fruits and veggies. still only 2 oz at a time, 4 x's a day. i will always need to take my multiple vitamins and supplements, always need to get a minimum of 50 oz of liquids and 80-100 grams of protein each day.
so.... while im not always thinking about bbq ribs or pizza, etc., i am still thinking about food every day to be sure i get it all in....
im sure that soon it will become second nature, and much less taxing on my brain to remember to eat... wow, that alone is amazing... never wouldve thot i would have to remember to eat.
i will always be the same person on the inside, its just my outsides that will be changing...
faith
Thursday, April 29, 2010
i'm not what i would call a religious person, but i do believe in God. i have faith. i have hope. i am positive. i have good karma. i try to be the best person i can and give what i can when i can to help others.these last 2 years have been very very trying and stressful for me. enough to drive a sane person to check into a mental health unit even....
in the midst of my despair, my wonderful mother told me to suck it up. that when one door closed, a window always opened. to not feel sorry for what i had lost, but look forward to what i could gain. now, i've heard that at least a million times. i'm sure everyone has... but for some reason unknown to this unit, it sank in. it gave me hope. right then and there it shut down my pity party and put me on the road to all good.
who knows why what happened to me, happened. i can't worry about that. i believe with all of my heart and soul that things happen for a reason. now, i didn't think it would take 2 years to find my way on the right path again, but other then fleeting moments of outright hopeless and helplessness, i kept on with the positive thinking. i trusted. i had faith. i didn't stress about all the horrors that were randomly tossed my way. my family was starting to stress by my lack of emotion or worry. i just couldn''t.
i knew that i would be taken care of. oh, there were times when i was soooooo close to giving up hope and have a big ole' pity party, but i hung in there.
today.... i was rewarded. my house is in foreclosure due to circumstances beyond my control... i had a lot of doubts at first about what would happen to me or where i would go.... but, i had faith. today, i bought another home. no, it's not my dream home on the kentucky or ohio river in kentucky, but it is home. it has everything i need, fenced yard for the dogs, doggy door already installed...lol... 2 bedrooms and baths, and it is fairly private. the view i see from my front window would rival that in kentucky... except for the river...
i am blessed.
creativity
Monday, February 15, 2010
ok... here i go speaking what is on my mind. the photo contests. now, i don't enter them, but on occasion i do peruse and vote on the entries.
here's what bothers me. each month there is a different theme.. that's a good thing... but.... much of the time, the photos submitted really have nothing to do with what the "theme" is. i have a hard time voting very high on a photo that doesn't in any way relate. take this month for example... romantic themed, "kiss me"... yet, when i click thru the pics, very few are anything close to what i would consider "romantic".
next point ~ is photo quality. now, i can understand that not everyone has a good digital camera and some are using web cams or cams from their cell phones... but honestly.... how can one even think a picture so fuzzy you can't tell what it is ~ could possibly be "romantic"?
how about all those people that have personal info such as photos, etc., in the backgrounds of their photo? or rooms that are sooooo messy they should be condemened? again, yes, i know not everyone has acess to editing applications, but come on.....
then... there are the ones that each month, think everyone needs another look at that pink bits... let's face it, a string doesnt cover anything... i for one, get tired of pics of peoples "personal parts".
now... a big high 5 to those that do take the time to follow the rules, submit a pic that DOES relate to the monthly theme, have a good quality that leaves just a little to our imagination... YOU are all winners in my book.
life goes on
Friday, February 5, 2010
life, or something like it - always goes on. It doesnt stop because our heart has been broken, we are out of work, or someone near to us dies... nope. it keeps on moving on. all we can do is go along with it, or get out of the way. if not, we surely will be trampled by those marching in their own parade. i have learned, these last 2 years, to still allow myself time to grieve. time to slow down, take a nap, feel sorry for myself... but not much time. 30 mins. that's it. i have my pity party, bless it, forgive myself and move onward and upward... seems to work for me.
foremost on my mind most of my life has been finding my lobster to share it with. someone to grow old with. someone to hold my hand as we go for walks on the beach. to cuddle up to at night. alas, seems my life has granted me everything but.... i fretted over it. i felt sorry for myself because of it. i envied my married friends. even my son zoomed by me with his wife in tow...
i kept thinking that this Mr. Right would come knocking on my front door.... but then.... i realized that i don't answer my door....ugh.. who knows who has been there and gone and not left me a note!!! if only it were that easy. i joined e-harmony, but all the potential matches were a distance away and no man seemed to want to drive more then 50 miles to meet me...
life goes on.
so now.... yes... i have those moments when i see really old couples walking hand in hand... but.. instead of envying what i don't have... i smile, and am very happy for what they have.
will i ever find my lobster? i dont know. but i am no longer consumed by looking for him.
life does go on...
peace & harmony
Thursday, January 21, 2010
it was maureen that really helped me turn my life around to the happy side. for the first 49 years i suffered from chonic deprression. the glass was also half empty. i couldnt really think of anything i was greatful for... except the wawa's. i was the living proof that eeyore exists. i always ound the downside to everything and could not even imagine a good side.. maureen advised me to jump on in... act happy. live the life i want to lead and it will be true. i was skeptical. but i looked into it. i got into a lot of louise hay's books that just tied everything up neatly. i have come far. i am actually living life instead of watching it pass me by. i say my affirmations daily. i live, love and laugh.
Affirmations for Peace and Harmony
- All my relationships are loving and harmonious
- I am at peace
- I trust in the process of life
Affirmations for Joy and Happiness
- Life is a joy filled with delightful surprises
- My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.
- I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.
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sum thing else to say
Sweetheart, we never seem to be in the forums at the same time. i miss you and your famous wit. you know that if we ever come together again, i WILL do as your profile pic demands. 
