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Re: ~~Ye olde Tea Shoppe~~

have a chuckle ;;; BIG HI to tink

Lucia said you need slacks. We went to the store. I took a pair off the rack paid & walked out. Where are you going?
They fit.
Waddya mean they fit.
They fit!
Don't you need socks?
No!
Shirt?
No!
Belt?
What else?
Nothing.
Why are we leaving?
They fit!
Shook her head in disbelief all the way home.
Time of transaction...57 seconds.
P. S. Slacks fit like a velvet glove.
Being a guy is easy
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        WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

        Men Are Just Happier People--

        Your last name stays put.

        The garage is all yours.

        Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

        You can never be pregnant.

        Car mechanics tell you the truth.

        The world is your urinal.

        You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

        You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

        Same work, more pay.

        Wrinkles add character.

        People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

        New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

        One mood all the time.

        Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

        You know stuff about tanks and engines. A ten-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

        You can open all your own jars.

        You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

        Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

        You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

        Everything on your face stays its original color.

        The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

        You only have to shave your face and neck.

        You can play with toys all your life.

        One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

        You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

        You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

        You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

        No wonder men are happier.

        Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it
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7 reasons not to mess with children.

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the bloo d doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

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~~Ye olde Tea Shoppe~~

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Ye olde Tea Shoppe

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