All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny,
but yo I'm makin' money, see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme, 
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky.  I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.   
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance

{Chorus:}
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Verse Two:

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.

{Chorus}

Breakdown:

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

Verse Three:

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.

{Chorus}

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stoopid!

{Chorus}

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Outro:

Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever








This song just makes me smile.

Okay, I was in chat at about 2am and a topic was brought up in regards to child support...

Now I'm aware this is a rather touchy subject to a lot of people, cause there is a lot of deadbeat mom's and dads out there that even if they HAD their kids they wouldn't take care of 'em. But my issue with child support is not in regards to them, it's for the hardworking child support folks out there. I've payed child support since before my son turned 2 years old and he's gonna be 4 so I have another 14 years+ ahead of me.

I currently pay just shy of 400 dollars a month for my one child, and to be honest I find this amount to be insanely ridiculous. Mostly because I know for a fact this covers all of my ex's expenses and bills, and then some. So here inlies my issue, she is getting a free ride at my expense. In addition to this, I have been denied being allowed to see my child pretty much since said child support began. I've tired all legal channels and avenues made available to me and at best I would be given once every other month, one day and only for a part of that day.

People can disagree with me all you like, but I can't even afford to live because of this obscene amount of money I'm paying. And for all you folks that live in the more populated areas of the country such as Cali and the like, that 400 a month translates to roughly triple that where you come from. I believe children should be taken care of whole heartedly, but I do not think the other partner should be taken care of as well by this amount. The child support system is corrupt and unfair, despite the concept of it being of the utmost necessity.

You think you know me
You don’t know shit
I’ve seen the world through your eyes
And it makes me sick
I question all of your answers
They’re fuckin lies
I won’t conform to you system
I’d rather die
I burn it down

Just to watch it go
I burn it down
So everybody knows
I burn it down
Just to see it go
I burn it down
I hate it to the core

Think you’re a martyr
Not hard to see
You wanna rule the fuckin world?
You gotta get through me
Your iron fist will be broken
No soul to sell
Think I’ll burn for my actions
See you in hell
Burn it down

I do it for myself
Burn it down
For me and noone else
Burn it down
Just to watch it go
I hate you fuckin all

I burn it down
Just to watch it go
I burn it down
So everybody knows
I burn it down
Just to see it go
I hate it to the core

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all of these things
That you would probably hide!
Am I your one and only desire?
Am I the reason you breathe,
Or am I the reason you cry?

Always, always, always,
Always, always, always,
I just can't live without you!

I love you!
I hate you!
I can't get around you!
I breathe you,
I taste you!
I can't live without you!
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you!

(Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you)

I feel, like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess I'll see you around
It's all, been bottled up till now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound!

Always, always, always,
Always, always, always
I just can't live without you!

I love you,
I hate you,
I can't get around you!
I breathe you,
I taste you,
I can't live without you!
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.

I love you,
I hate you,
I can't live without you.

I wrap my hand around your heart,
Why would you tear my world apart?

Always, always, always, always.

I see, the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel, more like a man?
Was it all, just a part of your plan?
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound!

I love you,
I hate you,
I can't live around you!
I breathe you,
I taste you,
I can't live without you!
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you.

I love you,
I hate you,
I can't live without you!
I love you,
I hate you,
I can't live without you.
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor,
And now I'm done with you.

Always,
Always,
Always.

I was given a suggestion to include band names with the song lyrics which I initially declined to do because I just felt that it detracted from the lyrics themselves, but by request I have included them. The band names are included with the titles now, so please enjoy.