  |  MrMoonlight2u
Male, 94 United States
Male
Cummaquid
Massachusetts, USA 3,339 kms from you 94
Divorced
       9-28-08
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6' 0"
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18 hrs ago
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Puberty... who knew it could take this long?
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$$$ HELP $$$
Monday, May 14, 2012
For reasons that I can't explain ... one day after Mother's Day ... my mother has decided that it is time that I move out of her <del>basement</del> house. In order for me to do so and to maintain the high standard of living I am accustomed to, I need to raise some fast cash.
My loss is your gain. For a very limited time I will be offering some of my more popular items at a substantial discount. So act now! I think I hear her coming down the <del>basement</del> hallway.    *Moonie Learns To Drive*
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The first thing I do when I Log-In to SexyAds is look at the Blogs. Actually, I usually do so even before I Log-In.
It has been a few months since I posted a Blog so I thought today would be as good a time as any to get back into it. It is Summertime here in Cummaquid and that means there are plenty of vacationers and lots of heavy traffic. For the most part, Cummaquid drivers are amongst the worse you'll ever find anywhere. (Sorry, Rhode Island.) Visitors come here expecting to find reasonably polite drivers and some form of traffic laws set in place. You can find Saltwater Taffy, Twin Lobsters and Clam Chowder but we always come up a little short in the traffic department. This time of year, the sound of police cars and ambulances is even more common around here than that of crickets chirping in the evening or even the sound of waves breaking across the sand. As I was sitting in traffic today I realized that the sight or sound of police cars no longer gave me concern. It wasn't long ago that I would slouch down in the drivers seat and pretend to be invisible when a police car was nearby. Why? Because Moonie had no drivers license. It wasn't that it was taken away by the court system or anything like that, I simply never had one. Like most kids, I started driving at around age 15 or so. They had a Drivers Ed. class at my school but I felt no need to stay longer than a few days before dropping out of it. This, of course, entitled me to say that "Yes, I took Drivers Ed.", always taking care never to use the words 'completed' or 'passed'. At that age, every kid is obsessed with the idea of having a drivers license, so naturally I became obsessed with the idea "How long can I get away without having a drivers license?" The answer is decades... and decades. Did you know how many things you can do without a drivers license? Plenty. I have bought vehicles, new and used... I have registered vehicles, insured vehicles, wrecked vehicles, gone to court over vehicles, been pulled over by police while driving, been towed, used AAA road service and never once was I brought to task for not having a drivers license. Two years ago I finally decided to join the ranks of licensed drivers. It took awhile to convince the wonderful folks at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles that I wasn't a fugitive from another country or someone with a bad driving record and a fake identity trying to pull a fast one on them. I took a written permit test. Now I was legal to drive between sunrise and sundown, as long as I had a licensed driver over 21 years old with me. I was pulled over within a week and luckily for me I had a licensed driver and the sun was shining on me because the cop actually checked! At the earliest date possible I took the road test that would allow me to have a regular drivers license. Did I study for it? Did I read the Operators Handbook? No and no. Did I pass my road test? No. I had a female officer take me on my road test. She was an even worse passenger than my ex wife and mother-in-law sitting next to each other. "Where do your hands belong Robert?" "You are not supposed to drive on the sidewalks Robert" 'Hands inside the car Robert. I'm not telling you again." "That last turn almost threw me out the door Robert" "Put on your seat belt Robert" 'Easy on the brakes, Robert. I almost hit the windshield." She kept up that verbal abuse for nearly five minutes before she made me return to the Department of Motor Vehicles, only then to tell me that she was failing me, and telling me that I needed to spend a long time reading the handbook and practicing before making another attempt at the test. I was able to get another appointment for later that same week, this time with a different tester. She seemed a lot friendlier than the first one. She climbed in the front seat next to me and I made a great show out of checking my mirrors, adjusting my seat belt, doing everything possible to make a good impression. She smiled at me. She had kind, gentle eyes. I was optimistic. "Okay Robert. Before we start, I want you to show me the proper hand signals that every good driver is familiar with." I was only familiar with one rather obvious hand signal employed by most drivers, and I'm sure that wasn't the one she was looking for. I gave her a knowing smile and hoped she couldn't sense my panic as I rolled my window down. While reciting "Stop, Go, Right, Left, Up and Down' with as much authority as I could muster, I furiously waved my arm outside the window as fast as I could hoping that she would recognize my actions as those of a thoughtful, well seasoned driver. As she was placing a Red X in the appropriate box she asked, "Robert, have you taken this test before?" Before I could reply, she started thumbing through the papers that were in the folder on her lap. The color slowly drained from her face. For the next several minutes she repeated the same litany as the other tester. They must have it memorized. We returned shortly to the Department of Motor Vehicles and she told me to park the car. I asked if she was interested in seeing my parallel parking skills and she nearly shouted "NO!" at me. She stared at the papers in front of her for awhile and finally said. .. "I should have my head examined Robert, because against my better judgment I am giving you your license. I never want to see you back here, and I especially hope to never see you on the road.". So now I am a legal, licensed driver and it just isn't nearly as much fun as it used to be. While writing this, I tried to think of all the cars I bought, new or used over the years. I came up with about 20. Some were pretty cool but there were plenty of dogs too, especially from the Married Years. Other than the car I am presently driving, do you know what all of those cars have in common? Not a single one survived ownership by me. Once I was done with them, they were done for good.  Anyone wanna go for a ride? *Knock It Off!*
Monday, May 2, 2011
In the immortal words of The King of Swamp Castle:
 *In The News*
Saturday, April 30, 2011
I saw this article in today's evening newspaper. I thought it was rather interesting and worthy of passing along...
 *My Rear End*
Thursday, February 10, 2011
For those who were wondering about the damage to the MoonMobile here are a couple of blurry shots.
It is still drivable though not repairable. I fashioned a replacement tail light out of an empty peanut butter jar, red Christmas wrapping paper, a couple of wire ties off of a loaf of bread and of course some duct tape. I have narrowed the search for a replacement down to two vehicles and hope to finish the deal when I return home later this weekend.    sh that I really liked you!
Are you really not feeling well? I'll bet you caught one of those urinary track confections because you insist on keeping the toilet seat down. Bushie says you pee standing up so why not leave the seat up? 1) You DO really like me!! No need to wish, dear. 2) Yes. I really am not feeling well. I am not exaggerating. My arm is not doing well and I don't think I will be able to hold out long on surgery this time. 3)Do you think I caught that there urinary TRACK infection while wearing my joggers and competing in the 500 meter dash and hurdles? Please advise! 4) Why would you listen to a man that has been known to wear women's clothing? Crossdressers always lie, ya' know! Drama queens! He is just jealous because I have a bigger penis and don't have to straddle above the toilet to pee! Other than that, how are YOU? Not that I give a rats ass mind you. You are rather an annoying, boring twit ;) Added: Thursday, May 10, 2012 11:46pm
  You know me... I'm always full of surprises just for you!Added: Wednesday, May 9, 2012 11:14am
 It's good to see your name posting in the forums.....I've missed it!!!
  Added: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 8:19pm
 I know you`re busy working.. but I miss you dammit! you already know that though :) Added: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:13pm
  You moooooove me, Valentine!!
PhoenixFyre Added: Monday, February 13, 2012 7:28pm
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