Nuff Said

Phuckin Moonlight Productions presents:

Pin The Dildo On Shannie’s FAT ASS!
  America’s Most Versatile Adult Party Game
   For Ages 12 and Up

Tired of playing the usual party adult games?  Are you visually impaired?  Are you really that hard up?  If you answered YES to any of these questions, this is the game for you.

Simply hang the vinyl picture on the nearest broadsided barn, put on the blind fold, and then pick up our specially custom fit dildo (included).  Then have someone spin you around and then attempt to pin the dildo on that ass.  Great for those of you who are visually impaired and couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn if they tried.

Great for Teachers:  Simply hang upon the classroom wall in order to teach your children the ins and outs of the Grand Canyon.

Great for teenaged sons and his friends:  Simply lay the vinyl picture on the ground and let them play Evil Knevil while attempting to jump their BMX bike over the canyon.

For the first 100 customer who buy within the next 72 hours:  We will include a 14 inch x 20 inch personally signed picture of Shannie’s ass to be hung next to the bathroom mirror.  After your wife, girlfriend, and or both see this poster, they will no longer ask that question.  Come on gentlemen, you know that question.  Honey, do these panties make my ass look fat???

Warning:  Although we can guarantee that toddlers will not put any piece of this game in their mouths, we recommend that you not leave this game around your teenage daughter as it has been reported that some have attempted to put pieces of this game in their mouth

Included in this game:

One (1) 10 ft high x 40 ft wide (1/32 of actual size) vinyl picture of ShanniePie’s ass
One (1) telephone pole (painted pink and covered in latex)
One (1) Blind Fold (Trust me, stare at that ass long enough, you’ll know why we have included it)
One (1) set of directions.

Accessories available but not included:

Mattress pad with two stripes of two sided tape (For playing the game during that special time of the month)

First off, I feel a need to apologize to the handful of members who actually do read my blogs for not blogging this week.  To be upfront with you, I was posed with a question more difficult than answering what came first the chicken or the egg.  In fact, Shannie asked me what is worse: Her having a fat ass or me wanting to bend it over and bang away at it?  She also has gone out of her way to inform me that I of all people will NEVER get into her giant Granny Panties and she is correct.  For the record, I never wanted into them, I’m in need of a new dust cover for my street glide.

 

Anyways, in my absence from chat, I’ve grow a little tired of fascinating myself and felt as if this blog was far too humorous not to share it others.  It’s humorous because I’ve neither written nor attempted to write anything of this sort.  Nevertheless, one day while out tending to my garden I got to thinking that if two gay brothers (The Brothers Grimm) could write a fairy tale, why couldn’t I?  Really, how HARD (no pun intended) could it be.  However, since the only thing that I have ever had in my mouth that was long and stiff was either a cigar or a fork, then clearly as you can see, I’m at a huge disadvantage.

 

With that said, here I go:

 

Once upon a time ago, in a place far far away from Seattle, Washington lived a sweet “little” princess who’s breasts were filled with maple syrup.  Having lost then lost on a few occasions, she sought out to find her prince.

 

During her search, she came to know a very confident demon, who was not only confident, but a very big fan of Edgar Allan Poe.  It has been said that this demon was so confident that he told many a woman that his ego couldn’t be dented with a sledgehammer.

 

Therefore, shortly after being tagged by this demon, they (Him and the Princess) began to chat.  After just a few chats, the demon promised to take the princess to the finest McDonald’s in the land for a Mocha.  At some point after this, the demon was in need of shelter and the princess, out of the kindness of her heart, took him in.  The demon was so thankful; he took the princess and her dog to meet his family.  He also made mention of a very magical place that someday he would take her to.

 

Well as the story goes, this relationship ended soon thereafter.  In fact, the break up was due to the fact that the princess felt as if the demon was only paying half attention to her.  Sadly, as she discovered, the demon was deaf in one ear.

 

After the break, except for the occasionally booty call she provided the demon, she came to realize that she still had not found her prince.  She also recalled the numerous conversations she had with the demon about that very magical place.  A place rumored to be so magical that it could turn even the world’s most undesirable woman into a hot chick by her showing nothing more than a little cleavage.

 

She again contacted the demon, who Himself helped her find her way to this very magical place.  Once there, she met some very nice people.  She also had the occasion to chat with an unemployed Jelly and Jam maker, who she later discovered was known to many as the Tacklefuxer.

 

As she had done so with the demon, the princess began chatting with the Tacklefuxer.  It wasn’t long after this, that she realized that the Tacklefuxer had taken a great liking to her.  Despite this fact and being uncertain of her feelings, the princess continued to chat at length with him.  During these chats, the Tacklefuxer not only told her he had the biggest cock in the kingdom but he also had a picture of it to prove it.  He also made mention that there was a man of which he never liked.  He further informed her that this very evil man is likely by NO ONE, and it would therefore be in her best interests to keep her distance from The Village Idiot, commonly referred to by many as just plain Phuckin Stewpud.

 

They continued to chat and talk on the phone for hours and hours.  During yet another one of these conversations, the Tacklefuxer indicated that he liked her a lot, so much so, he wanted to know if she wanted to be her girlfriend.  Not sure what to say, the princess giggled and attempted to change the subject.  No matter how hard she tried, the Tacklefuxer kept referring back to a relationship with her.  In fact, he informed her that if she was going to be his girlfriend, then NO VILLAGE IDIOT.

 

At some point after this conversation, the Tacklefuxer began to tell those who would listen, that he and the princess were dating.  Also, The Village Idiot—in order to prove he was not all that stewpud—wrote down some words on some parchment and despite the odds, those words were magically published.  After hearing of The Village Idiot’s plight, the Tacklefuxer began to tell many that The Village Idiot wrote some very bad words.

 

After hearing the Tacklefuxer bad mouth The Village Idiot, the princess’ interested was peaked.  So much so, it caused her to asked for a copy of his words in which TVI ablidged.  Knowing that the princess had these words, the Tacklefuxer continued to tell her how bad these words were.

 

Despite the Tacklefuxers warning to stay away from him and only after reading these words, the princess began chatting with The Village Idiot.  In doing so, she discovered that The Village Idiot was not as evil as “EVERYONE” had reported him to be.

 

During these chats, the princess made mention that the Tacklefuxer said he never liked him and that he had been bad mouthing the words in which he had written.  Not being one to shy away from confrontation, The Village Idiot challenged the Tacklefuxer to a duel on several occasions.  Other than telling The Village Idiot that he was ----à refraining, the Tacklefuxer did nothing.

 

Most likely out of fear of not being able to trade barbs with The Village Idiot, the Tacklefuxer began to devise a play to permanently remove The Village Idiot from this magical place.  It seems, just as The Village Idiot had done, got out some parchment and wrote down words of his own.  He then sent these words off to the Queen via a courier, while he sat and awaited a reply.

 

It has been rumored that the following are the words that were sent off by the Tacklefuxer:

 

 Yanno....i can't even think of the turning point in which chuck started thinking i was backstabbing him.....i don't talk behind peoples back and i'm not sure why 'he's got such a beef with me and i add him to my ignore buy find myself removing him in my defense.his antics ruin the room in his confrontations and they should be taken to pc....but then i find myself in the situation....i don't care to pc him.....i don't care what he has to say.as an indian and native american....our point of view of the white mans prejudice is...you don't like it YOU go home you know the russians don't even have a word for Indian or Native.....they call us *First here*  In speaking with a few.....we appreciated it when he was gone.....when he had his own room....and when he gets banned....in summary....is sexyads better without him....i know others do more flagerant things....but his prejudices stand out. he's very into himself and i think my popularity with others is the trigger he hates.....he isn't the center of everyones attention. i have backbone enough but i don't care for the slander and condensention.....today he sent a friends request...i went in thinking maybe he wants to lay the sword down....totally the opposite.....but shame on me for thinking positive of such a negative person.  What can be done?......at what point is a line crossed....i know i'm not alone in saying....he makes the place...difficult to visit.  In Real Life.....this guy couldn't shake my hand and say the things he does....he'd KNOW from the handshake.....the look in the eyes...the size difference....i'm a man of my word.....i give an honest days work for an honest days pay.....i make healthy choices....i won't stand for someone lying.....and doing the right thing is a habit......so is doing the wrong thing....ya have to do one or the other. i'm so sick of his insults.....and adding him to ignore doesn't end them.....OP ME UP (Ok....thats a lil extreme heh....but it'd sure widen his eyes if i got to kick him once....with a note *come back with a better attitude*).

 

TC....maybe its time for a sexyads break.

 

p.s. he says you have a log of me sicking the dog of war on him.....kinda hard....when i didn't....just him full of it...but he's including you in his ammunition against me.....good luck on that one......hugs to the gang

 

Shortly afterward, the Tacklefuxer did indeed receive a response from the Queen and that response is as follows:

 

Hi Tacklefuxer,

 

I don't have a log of anyone.  I don't know anything about the Dog of War.  The dog was removed for things he said and he knew it when he said it.  He got put out for a week.

 

I asked the King to give me a log of what Chuck said for the last couple of days and I'm less than impressed.  I've asked the King to kick him out of chat.  We don't need it.  He'd run off any newbies in a heartbeat.

 

Thanks a lot for writing,

 

The Queen

 

After seeing that The Village Idiot had not been removed, the Tacklefuxer got out some more parchment, and wrote yet another letter to the Queen, which went as follows:

 

shoulda known it was too good to be true...well....i got one night of relaxing and having fun....makes ya wonder tho....alot of regs are disappearing slowly.

 

Figuring that the Tacklefuxer may be up to something and growing tired of hearing the Tacklefuxer say that NO ONE likes you, The Village Idiot put up a tree a petition whether or not he should stay or leave this magical place.  The Tacklefuxer saw the poster and noticed that the princess had voted to have The Village Idiot to stay.  Well, the Tacklefuxer immediately contacted the princess and the following conversation occurred:

 

Tacklefuxer: wow.....what a two faced cunt

The Princess: who?

Tacklefuxer: you

The Princess: why?

Tacklefuxer: chucks blog.....stay

The Princess: well how does that make me 2 faced and who gives you the right to call me a "C"

Tacklefuxer: tell chuck to stay after all the shit he gives me.....your a two faced cunt

The Princess: Iam not!!!!!

Tacklefuxer: ok.....you define yourself then.....you tell him to stay

Tacklefuxer: he's loving that

The Princess: just because you have a problem with him doesn't mean I do......and furthermore for someone to call another 2 faced huh, you the one that doesn't lie

Tacklefuxer: you can just KMA

Tacklefuxer: two faced back stabbing bitch

The Princess: ok dear non liar

 

Immediately after this conversation, the Tacklefuxer received a final reply from the Queen and that response was:

 

Nah, the King forgot.  We're working horrendous hours since we let the staff go and he just forgot.  I forgot to check.  I should have written it down or made sure he did.

 

Shortly after this reply, all the Kings horses and all the Kings men, came to remove The Village Idiot never to be seen again.  The Tacklefuxer so proud of his feat, he decided to brag about it by sending all of the Queen's correspondence to the Princess.

 

The end.

 

I wanted so much for this to have a happy ending but (BRB, I need to go get a Kleenex)

 

Okay back, well since I suck at happy endings, I should at least come up with a moral and the one I came up with is this:

 

If your going to be man enough to call a woman a cunt, make sure you haven’t provided her with any information that could come back at you.  The last thing that a man who does would want is for that information to fall into the hands of a very Stewpud man, as who knows what he is going to do with it.

 

Okay one last thing, I’m sure my lawyer would advise me to tell those reading that this that the characters in this blog are fictional and if by chance they resemble those in real life, it’s an oddity

 

Adios y vaya con dios chat freaks

 

then blame Shannie Pie.

Last night, I decided to get in touch with my feminine side by deciding to take a bath rather than showering (yes, this should disspell the myth that bikers do not bath). 

Unable to find my rubber duck (seriously I have one--its a biker chick), I then decided to take some five knuckle shuffle matter in the bath with me.  As I am house sitting for a friend (my pad most likely has been over run by the nearest drug dealer), I wasn't able to locate any fuckin porn.  Unfuckin believable that in this day and age, there is a house in America without porn. 

I surely must be watching a house owned by a mormon, which explains the burning sensation in my crotch area.  It surely couldn't be from the one toothed hooker I spend the evening (rather 10 minutes) with last night, as she looked rather clean, I promise.

Since I was unable to locate any porn, I decided to hit up my old reliable stand by, Shannie's pics. 

Has anyone seen how many pics this babe as been posted.  It' s taking me longer and longer to pic one out.  It seems as if the only pics that are missing from her collection is her grammar school graduation pics.  Nevertheless, I did get a big kick out of watching her breasts grow.  In fact, if I had the spare cash, surely I would invest in every saline solution company.

With that said, with that many photos, I have to assume, the folks here at SA had to purchase 5 additional servers just for her photos. 

Getting back on point, I finally found one that fit my mood so I attempted to download it.  My intentions were clearly to download it, take it to Kinkos to have it laminated, and then I was gonna take my bath.  But it didn't seem to work that way.  When I attempted to download the pic, a box popped up on my screen that said "due to the size of the ass on that chick, download time will be 1 hr, 43 minutes.  So I had to forgo my trip to Kinkos.

On the upside, I must admit, she still looks kind of hot all wet and soggy.  The sad part is that for the most part, she will be the only one that will find any humor in this silly blog.  She is indeed one of the few chicks on this site that can take a joke and a dick (so she says).

Nevertheless, I'd thought I'd get a quick shot in, before I started my day.  I'm sure I'll get a few more in later today.

Until then, chat freaks

Adios y vaya con dios

Bi Bi

Episode 1:  The Beginning or shall I say the end:

As predictable as the chat in the bedroom of late, I can say with certainty that many, if not all of the residents, now know that my chat persona (notice I said that as I doubt I really could get my real time body into the chat box, at best it would be a very tight squeeze) has been banned from chatting.  Having not yet been notified by any member of this site, I know this to be true to two reasons.  The first being is that I am unable to access the chat feature on this site.  The other reason is because I was made privy to a communication between the owner of this site and another chatter of the bedroom.

I've decided to personally inform those who read this because my last absence which lasted approximately two months, I was apparently made into an urban legend.  It seems, and to the delite of some, that the word was that I had been banned from this site permanently for being an asshole.  Well since I'm back, you now realize I'm just a run of the mill every day asshole.  After hearing that I was banned during those two months, I sat every waking moment by my real time email in hopes of getting an invitation to the "Yeah, He's Gone" party.  Sadly one never came.  On a much brighter note, my therapist has indicated to me that I should be completely over this hurt in about another 3 sessions.

Speaking of which, I now need to burst some of their bubbles.  A very big task in a few cases in here.  But as you can clearly see, I wasn't banned during those months.  If the truth be told, while being slightly over baked (stoned or high for you law abiding citizens), I erroneously deleted my profile while attempting to change my nick.  A nick that I felt was more close to my personality than fuckin stewpud.  BTW, those wondering, that nick was going to be Mister_Wonderful.  After this blunder, that is why I'm back chatting under phuckin_stewpud.

This morning, while checking my real time email inbox, I discovered that I had approximately 12 emails of support from various chatters with in the bedroom.  While I refuse to call those individuals out here, I will tell you that the topics ranged from telling me I got a raw deal from this site to two members were leaning toward forgoing their membership because of what "they" did to me.  One of those, bless her heart, even went as far as to tell me the only reason she comes into chat is because of me.

Now they tell me hind sight is 20/20 and since I don't have eyes in the back of the head, I can't verify this.  However, had I been a little quicker on the up take, then I would have not provided a response to her email that I did.  What I should have informed that chatter is that if she was going to leave this site because I'm no longer there, was that she ought to send the monthly fee to my house.  In return, I shall give her my cell phone number that why I can abuse her (like I have been often reported doing to other chicks on a daily basis), by calling her a whore, tramp. slut. and hooker..  Christ for that much money per month, I'll even be willing to stroke my cock once a day so she could hear me cum.  I would offer twice, but I'm old and honestly it would take everything I had to get it up twice in one day.

For those who just want to quit regardless of my presence or not, I would respect request that you send a check or money order (in fact you can just re endorse that 3,000 check you got from a buyer on craigslist for your 20 dollar sofa that they want you to send the remainder to their shipper) to my favorite charity--fund for the unemployed located in Seattle, Washington.  I'm certain that you know someone whose unemployment insurance is nearing its end.

Seriously, if you really want to support me, then DON"T forgo your membership to this site, as they have, in my opinion, knowingly done nothing wrong.  So if you really meant what you said that you felt I got the shitty end of the stick (OMG that was cynful of me to say), then you will indeed respect my wishes by continuing to support this site.

Now some of you may be wondering as to why I hold no resentment toward this site and its owners.  First off, I am no longer a paying member.  Second off, they have done nothing wrong.  Honestly, if I were the owner of this site and had been presented with the same allegations of misconduct for which I was reported, I too would have scanned the logs and would have banned me as well.  In this case, I know the logs were briefly scanned to see what I said, and yes on those same logs, I have been seen calling some chicks, one in particular, whores, tramps, and hookers.  But....(I shall finish this in a later episode.)

Also in defense of the owner's actions in my case, I have to admit that one of the allegations made, is serious.  So serious, that if found to be true, I could be prosecuted in just about any court within the United States.  So, I assume that they too, don't take matters lightly.

The second allegation made alleges that because of my online persona, I have caused not only "regs" (isn't that something to brag about, your a regular in a chatroom) but "newbies" to leave this site.  If this allegation is true, then I am indeed taking money out of their pocket.  You know, the money many have not paid (one guy brags he has been on this site for 7 years and has yet to pay) in your monthly membership.  I neither have the right nor is it fair for me to do this.  Althought I believe this not to be the case and hopefully I shall be able to dispel this allegation later on in this mini-series, if it is, then I shall, without being asked to do such, delete my profile and not return.  Its that fuckin simple.

Now lets play in the real word for just a brief moment.  Lets say the chatter made these allegations directly toward me.  Well as I once told them in the chatroom, we would literally be handling this matter in my front yard.  They did however, have a very quick come back to that.  First off, they stated they would not hit me out of the fear that I would report them to the authorities (please note who was the first one to hit the report button in this matter).  The second reason they stated why they would not hit me was because I'm a little man.  Then and, as well as, at this juncture, I'm not sure as if he was referring to my height or my penis size.  I'm pretty sure, but not certain, (I'm praying my sex tape with Paris Hilton hasn't found its way to the internet) that I do not have a picture of my penis (I so much want to use the word cock here but I refrain doing so out of fear I might offend someone) on the internet.  Now mind you, I have attempted to take a picture of my penis to send to random chatters in the room.  However, when I transfer the picture from my camera to my computer, my computer informs me that the file contains 0kbs.  I guess as an alternate, I could download someone else's penis and use it.  But that wouldn't be deceptive.

Okay enough of this shit, lets get down to it. I first was going to sink the chatter right out of the gate but come on, what is the fun in that.  In fact, many know that's not just my fucking (can I say that here) style.  So since I can no longer chat, I thought I would entertain those who read this mini-series.  Another words, I'd figure I'd have a little fun at my expense and at the expense of many others.  Honestly, do you really expect any less of me.

With that said, I need to caution some who are daring enough to read this, will indeed not like what I have to say.  I guess I should have used the word "some" loosely here as I have been told by many that NO ONE likes what you have to say.

Back to those who want to support me for a moment, I want to assure you that I'm OK.  I'm not going to do anything stewpud.  In fact, immediately after I discovered (I haven't been officially told that I have been banned but have been privy to a communication between Maureen and a chatter that I had been banned) that I couldn't log into chat, I removed all sharp objects from my home.  Just in case, I want to you know.  Honestly, I'm not sure how I'm going to survive without chat.

In closing and all kidding aside, not only have my actions gotten me banned but they  have caused a chatter to come out and call the young female chatter by the screen name of NHCutie a two faced cunt.  I shoulder full responsibility for this action and quite honestly, there is nothing I can say to adequately indicate how sorry I am that she had to be called that because of me.

Now with that said, I'm that since you've heard she was called this, you then also have been told who the alleged chatter who did it.  Notice I said alleged here, as I want to give this chatter the benefit of the doubt, something they didn't give me.

I ask that all of those reading this, leave this chatter alone.  Let them be.  Let them have their fun.  I want this chatter.  The only way I can make it right for the cutie chick is to hurt this chatter.  Not by being physical rather I'm going to hurt him by changing his diet.  Another words, that chatter shall soon be eating his own words (if he only knew :)).  Instead of surviving on their room mates left over table scraps, they will be dining on crow.

And if by that chance this chatter was indeed referring to the lack of size of my penis, trust me, they will find out exactly how much an average sized cock (oppss) can do.

This mini-series will someday end and I want to assure those whose interested I have been able to keep until the very last episode, I will not disappoint them.  In fact, I'm going to rock this chatter's chat world upside down.

They don't have enough credit with me to be writing those big of checks.

The episode following this one will indeed have at least one chatter turning red.

Until next time chat freaks, be well