I "met" a guy online here in one of the chat rooms here at SexyAds, and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. He asked me if I'd like to chat on Yahoo, and, although I don't typically chat with men on Yahoo, I liked him well enough that I agreed to.

A digression...The reason why I don't typically chat with men on Yahoo is for various reasons:

1) I have given out my Yahoo ID and if/when I'm contacted, it has been so long since I've had any contact with the guy that I have NO clue who he is or why I gave him my Yahoo ID. He, of course, is supremely insulted that I don't automatically know him, even though we only exchanged one or two e-mails before exchanging Yahoo IDs.

2) I have chatted for well over an hour with some men, only to find out that we shared absolutely nothing in common. Maybe he was separated but not yet divorced...doesn't like animals...refuses to relocate...whatever. So instead of finding out these things beforehand via e-mail, he and I both have wasted our valuable time only to find out that we aren't compatible in the most basic of ways.

3) Some men only want cybersex.

So...despite my "rule" about not chatting on Yahoo, I broke the rule for this guy, and we ended up chatting until about 1 a.m. The conversation was great, the chemistry felt great, and we both seemed to really like each other. Before we signed off, he asked me if we could chat again, and I responded that I'd love to. Then he asked me for my phone number so that he could "call me later," and I eagerly gave it to him, thinking that we would continue our great conversations on the phone.

And what happened next? :::crickets chirping in the background:::

Not a damn thing, that's what. He never called, hasn't sent me an IM on Yahoo -- nothing. I feel as though I wasted valuable time and sleep talking to a guy who pulled the great "disappearing act" on me like so many others before.

So guess what? The Yahoo rule is now firmly back in place. I'm a single, employed, home-owning, pet-caretaking woman who doesn't have a lot of time to spare -- and especially not chatting on Yahoo with losers who end up disappearing into thin air.

Comments are welcome, but men -- before you say that women do it, too -- this rant is directed at people in general who do such things, but since I'm not into women, they never get the chance to do it to me, although I'm sure that they do it too. Rude behavior is rude behavior, and there's just no excuse for it, in my book.

Rant over, for now.

Please allow me to rant, briefly.

Do men even bother to READ profiles?? If so, why is it that MARRIED MEN or AFRICAN-AMERICAN MEN send me "tickles" and sometimes even e-mails? My profile states that I am interested in a LTR which, to my knowledge, would exclude married men. But if that little requirement isn't clear enough, I actually specify, for those who take a nanosecond to actually read my profile, that I am looking for a SINGLE, Caucasian/Hispanic man, stated clearly enough that even "Dumb and Dumber" would understand.

This leads me to believe that these men are not reading my profile, and I find it very irritating that they see my ass in a photograph and don't even bother to click on my profile find out more about me. Grrrrrr...!!!

Rant over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

After over a year and a half without sex, I'm discovering that ordinary conversation can have a sexual slant to it, no matter how innocuous it may seem. So I've determined that it's time to get laid when...

...you're standing in the kitchen at lunch, in front of the cabinet, and a guy you don't EVEN find attractive comes up, reaches around you to get something from the counter and says, "Let me slide in behind you there..." And your libido launches into overdrive.

...a guy sitting in the cubicle next to you -- who you aren't even remotely attracted to -- is talking about a "dominant trait" in, of all things, a DOG. And your libido sits up and howls.

...a guy mentions that a co-worker didn't make it into work today because he got "laid over" in Houston. And your libido shoots to the sky.

More to follow as I shamelessly listen to my co-workers and their non-sexual sex talk. :)

To all of you guys out there...maybe you can help me answer a nagging dating question.

A friend of mine has had terrible luck in the dating world -- the behavior of the men she dates confounds both of us, leaving us both shaking our heads and asking...WTF???

Case in point: She met a sexy, smart guy a few weeks ago, and they have been talking pretty regularly on the phone. He was supposed to call her at 3:00 on Sunday. He didn't call until Tuesday. When she asked why he hadn't called on Sunday, he said he had called at 5:00 on Sunday...although she found no evidence on her CallerID that he had. However, she gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought nothing more about it. During the week, as they continued to talk on the phone, he mentioned that he wanted to take her out on Friday. She had already made plans with me to have dinner and a movie, but she asked him to come along, or suggested that they go out on Saturday. He readily agreed to come with us to dinner and the movie. They had also talked about him coming back to her house to have sex after the movie, even planning down to the detail of buying condoms on their way back to her house.

So at this point -- as you might very well understand -- she is very excited that 1) her best friend is going to get to meet this wonderful guy that she's been exclaiming over for the past couple of weeks, and 2) she's going to have mind-blowing sex with this sexy, smart, great guy!!

Except...when she called him at 5:00 on Friday, he isn't home. She left a message. She called again at 5:30...at 6:00...leaving more messages...no return calls. She started wondering if he has been in some kind of accident and is slightly worried, although when she left a message with his sister, the sister didn't give any indication that there was anything wrong. Saturday came and she still didn't hear from him, despite leaving messages. She called once again on Saturday, and the sister told her that he was out with his mom, so he obviously wasn't writhing in pain in the hospital. She hasn't heard a peep from him since, and needless to say, both of us are seriously confused by this behavior!

Bottom Line Question: Why do men make dates and not follow through with them?

Please enlighten us!

Also, be aware that, although this is a description of one incident, it isn't an isolated one by any means -- it has happened often enough for me to actually take the time to write about it, so please...provide us with some insight into what you think may have happened.

First, to all of you men on SA who have chatted with me or sent me an e-mail, it has been -- and continues to be -- a great pleasure being able to receive nice compliments and participate in good conversation. There are, of course, those of you who have no clue how to speak to a sub -- or women in general -- and this blog is intended as a nice, gentle nudge to help you if you are one of those who might be making a slight faux pas. :)

BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism/Masochism. There are too many facets of BDSM for me to discuss here, so I will focus only on the Domination and submission portion and what it means to me. For the purpose of this blog, a "Dom" will be referred to in male terms and a "sub" will be referred to in female terms, even though either sex can be a Dom (male)/Domme (female) or a sub.

A sub is a person who willingly submits, or gives up control, sometimes during a "scene," sometimes 24/7. For me, I am a bedroom-only sub, which means that I don't give up control during the normal course of my day. To the contrary -- I am actually quite stubborn, independent, and even (gasp!) bossy at times. I can also be very sarcastic and have being a smart-ass nearly down to an art form. However, when I choose -- and focus on the word "choose," please -- to submit to a Dominant man, I willingly give up all control to Him.

Contrary to what some men may believe, being a Dom does not mean that you get to give orders and a sub will automatically jump to follow them. In fact, many men who have entered into a conversation with me and have tried to order me around have left our conversation greatly disappointed. Why, you ask?

After all, I'm a sub -- doesn't that mean that I am submissive? Yes, it does. However, an overbearing, demanding man does NOT a Dom make...rather, an overbearing, demanding man is just that: overbearing and demanding (and quite frankly, often annoying). Submission is a gift, and a Dom accepts and values it as such. And being a submissive doesn't mean that I will do whatever a Dom commands; an experienced Dom will know His sub's limits before He ever enters into the role, knowing that He has been given a great deal of trust to respect those limits. True Doms understand this concept. True Doms will also tell you that the sub is ultimately the one in control, as she has the power to stop a Dom's actions with merely a safe-word.

So, gentlemen...please consider this brief excerpt of my views on what it means to be a Dom or a sub before you jump into a conversation and start barking orders. Most women will tell you that starting with polite, intelligent conversation is always the best route to take if you want results, whether it's with a Domme, a sub, or any woman. :)

If you'd like more details about BDSM, I recommend reading the book, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns," by Philip Miller and Molly Devon.