Yesterday I had a call from a man I've been trying to get together with for the last two months.  We met once and liked each other. 

So he called at 11:00 in the morning and invited me to lunch.  Turns out he wanted to come to my house for lunch.  I told him I wasn't comfortable with that because I barely know him.  (He's been kind of elusive.)  He said, "Well, we can go out to lunch....and then back to your house."  At length he invited me to come to Leesburg for lunch.  (He lives nearby, but it's a 50-mile drive for me.)  Neither of us had even showered yet.  He said, 'We ought to be able to meet up by 1:30 or 2:00, eh?" 

So I got in the car.  Leesburg is only across the Potomac from Germantown, but you can't get there like that in a car.  I got lost when I got to Leesburg.  Finally got to the restaurant at 1:59 and rushed in.  He wasn't there.

Yes, I waited near the mens' room in case he was in there.  I walked through no less than four times, looking at every person in the place. 

I called him twice before arriving, and once after arriving.  He doesn't have a cell phone, so I had no other choice but leaving messages.  It was very disappointing having to drive home without seeing him.  i haven't had my arms around anyone for a while.  My lips are going to atrophy and fall off. 

I continued calling him after getting home, but there was never any answer.  At 9:00 p.m. I left one more message, along the lines of "I can't understand why you weren't there, I hope you will call me again, but i'm not apologizing any more."  i also sent one email.   I haven't heard a peep out of him to this moment.

For all i know he could be dead. The most likely scenario, in my mind, is that he was pissed off at my rebuff and had to punish me.  Otherwise he would surely have waited at the restaurant until 2:00 or a few minutes more. 

I've been stood up plenty of times in my life, but this one stings especially strongly.  But maybe it only seems that way.  I have always thought of this person as a man who likes to have his own way and cannot compromise easily.  I like a dominant man but this is a different kind of thing.  The first time we met, he stuck his hand inside my blouse and inside my bra cup and rubbed my breast without so much as an "excuse me".  Yes, I know it's rude and unfathomable.  I'm a spontaneous person and I just tried to forget it.  He's so fucking good-looking, that was easy to do. 

When something's bothering me like this, the only cure is to work it out of my system, thus the blog entry.