My life has been a series of Journey's. Some good and some totally awful but one way or the other I have managed to get through them.

On March 14th my life plugged into a hellish journey that I pray no one would ever have to go through. I rushed my husband, bleeding badly into the ER. For more than 24 hours I stood by as I watched him endure, almost unendurable pain and procedures to save his life. When the Dr came out of surgery I knew the news was not good. It was not. I was told he had a tumor the size of a big man's fist in his bladder. They could not remove the bladder or the tumor. He might have as little as 2 weeks to (with more procedures) a year to live before this hellish disease took him from us. The next two weeks was a roller coaster for our family of one day thinking this and then next being given hope that they could almost eradicate it altogether. 

He had gone though one bought of Cancer and survived. He had been told he had less than 2 years to live and the last 18 months would be really rough. Because our insurance would not pay for the radical surgery at the two hospitals that did it close enough to us I began to research and my husband chose an alternative treatment. We used all our savings and most of his retirement but It worked and for the next 2 & 1/2 years he lived a good life. The flu and a UTI that he left go untreated, a few floating cancer cells and it exploded into life again. This time it also spread to his bones and he now had not only Stage 4 Bladder Cancer but Stage 4 Bone Cancer as well. This time there was no time or money left for Alternative treatment and he is now under going very expensive radiation and chemo treatments which our insurance will pay some for and we will figure out the rest with the help of some wonderful people we have met. So far he is doing well and I am very thankful.

In spite of the financial and physical part of it all which if we allow it, can develop into its own little worldly hell we are not just making it but we have began a different journey together, a different love for each. Some days we take teeny tiny baby steps. Some days we take no steps at all and some days we break into a run. The world is the same and yet it has changed 360 degrees.One day we laugh together, the next we cry together.  I have learned, not just because I have my own health issues, that I not only need to nurture and care for him but I also need to be nurtured and allow myself to be cared for,by our wonderful family and kind and loving friends, but also by myself. If I don't I can't be here for him when he needs it the most. Writing this blog is one of those ways so I thank you if you read it, send us your prayers if you pray and if not just send us your kind and loving thoughts. 

We have had quite the life, married very young we drifted apart because of lies we were told, thirty years later we found each other again and began a new life together, and although we stayed together we drifted apart again, only to come back together once more. The song below defines our love in so many, many ways perfectly.

"When You Say Nothing At All"