So many people have such differing views of friendship, what is it , what is your responsibilities in it. Many take the , if you are my friend you will agree with me attitude and in my opinion that is not really it. Friendship can come in so many different forms , a relative as a friend, a lover is also a friend , but i think the one thing in a friendship that applies to all of these is respect. The ability to disagree with a friend and yes even have issues about what your friend is doing , comes in each friendship. When this adversity happens is when the friendship really comes to the fore , and what happens will let people know if there really was a friendship there. When you have suspicions of a friend the most important thing to do is take it up openly with that friend and no one else , no public spots , no saying things to others , just two talking over what the problem is . In the end you may still not agree and friends will never always agree , but you have kept the respect of the friend. Don't ever allow a friend find out from a third party that you said this or that about them ., Take it up with them ..... no drama,  True friendships are to be cherished . It is so easy to be friends when you always agree, but the test of adversity will make a friendship stronger if at the other end of it the closeness still exists . If it is not there , then the friendship never existed . I am just thinking in type and sharing my thoughts , feel free to agree or disagree ,

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A long time ago , when i was still in late teens a woman who became a friend of mine , lynn, went through a lot of hurt and pain . It was emotional, and very real. She met her man very young . He was very good looking , charming , and a wonderful piece of arm candy for her . They got married , and yes he had some questionable charachter flaws , but she assured all and herself that once they were married and settled down he would change (raise your hands if you have heard this before) for the better . Sure of this in her mind , she had her arm candy and he was going to not be a jerk, she was on top of the world . A child later and he did not change, the relationship ended , and she was in tears ,.

She recovered enough to meet another very good looking man , and they moved in together. Alas this is where i say nice guys finish last , as the man she chose was a friend i hung around with , and i was there having an interest in her , but lost again. Once again after some time , this good looking piece of arm candy , acted like a jerk, and treated this nice woman badly. Relationship over and she is in tears again and having a hard time recovering from this one. Once again he did not change, surprise , surprise.

After a bit more recovery time and deciding to take a whole different viewpoint on choosing a man , she included all men , not just the world considered good looking ones. Being a bit more blind of the visual , she met and dated a man , who by world standards may have rated at the highest a 6. They strengthened their relationship and married , and are married to this day . One day on the phone she confided in me that this man , frank, treated her so very well, and yes her son too. He respected her opinions and loved her for all the right reasons . To see them together is marvelous. She says to me today , that for a long , long time , he is the best looking man in her life and has been for a long time . She is so happy and it is wonderful to see this in her .

Now , i am not saying here that all the really good looking people , men or women are jerks , but what i am saying is don't turn a blind eye to what  is obvious and right in front of you in deference to appearance , Good looks does not overide bad charachter.. My personal opinion is this thinking should apply to all relationships , be they long term , short term , fwb, or whatever.

yesterday was a particularly frustrating day . i counted 5 times i had to take this semi and make an evasive or defensive manouver on the road to avoid collision with a car , not being alert . Now in my business , it is important to do that as , and i know this sounds paranoid , in such collisions , it is usually filed as the truckdrivers fault ,whether it is or not. In all 5 of these situations , the culprit was the driver of the cars holding a phone to their ear , which was causing the level of unalertness shown . And what is really maddening is they are totally oblivious to the possible mayhem they could cause doing this. If you blow the horn at them to make them aware of their bad driving , you usually get the middle finger salute or something similar. i had one driver , after i blew the horn , be very indignant with me and yell out his window at me ..."can't you see i am on the phone " sheesh. In this wonderful world of technology there is devices out there that can make it safe on the phone , not only for the user of the phone , but for all the rest of us out on the road with them. So please show that you care and think safety .

Sitting here by myself , i was just going through a lot of things and life can bring so many turns to us. I have learned that in life and when things don't go right , the first thing one needs to do is self examine. Human nature makes it so easy to point the finger at another , thus absolving us of any responsibility.  A long time ago i was very young , inexperienced and engaged to be married . I was stunned hurt to discover my fiance in a dp and it was devastating . I could have easily just pointed the finger and not self examined and nobody would have blamed me. i did however self examine and in hind sight i realized that , what i thought was love was just major infatuation. Still hurt , but made me see that my eyes were not open to who she was and it was right there in front of me to see. Not blaming her but me cuz i should have seen that. I grew that time and as the years have passed , through always self examining , have never stopped growing . I have learned not to use the word love too often when referring to affairs of the heart . But don't be afraid to recognize  it when it is there. To express it , show it , and don't hold back . It can be hard , but much better to let it show then to hold it back and keep it in.

Sorry for my ramblings , but i know love and know it well , and know what it feels like and i do love someone so much, more than i have ever loved anyone in my life , so i am ranting a bit . She once used the word angel to describe me , but she is angel as well