One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. 

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice
and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I 
would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more
than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the 
time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed 
delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone 
rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to
answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized 
the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. 

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes. 

The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap
and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with 
myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, 
apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had 
not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!