69tex4u
Male, 74   United States
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New Windsor
New York, USA
2,783 mi from you
74
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4 days ago
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I post a lot of jokes because I love laughter. I try to make all I meet a little happier. I get the biggest laughs in bed..
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Second blog
I had to delet all my blogs because this site is acting wierd
This blog is currently rated 5 out of 5
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Words of wisdom
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Minion 5
Posted at 8:57am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
The Widow and the $30,000 Funeral
Monday, June 18, 2018

Joe passed away. His will provided Thirty thousand for an elaborate funeral. 

 

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. 

"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. 

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. 

"How much did this really cost?" All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand." 

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but Thirty Thousand!" 

Helen answered. "The funeral was Sixty five hundred. I donated Five hundred to the church. The wake, food, and drinks were another Five hundred. The rest went for the memorial stone." 

Jody computed quickly. Twenty two thousand five hundred for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!" 

"Two and a half carats.

Posted at 2:48pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
The dead Patient
Tuesday, June 12, 2018

A doctor is going around the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. 

 

"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor. 

"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!" 

At the next bed, the next patient also appears half dead. 

"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?" 

"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse. 

Unfortunately, at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life.

"Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?"

Posted at 1:23pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Priest, What Can I Do For My Business?
Tuesday, June 5, 2018

His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide.

As a last resort, he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally, the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.The priest recognized the benefactor and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

Posted at 3:02pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
old womans baby
Monday, June 4, 2018

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.

 

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one of them asked.

"Not yet", said the mother. "I'll make coffee and then we can visit for a while."

Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "may we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.A while later the guests asked again, "may we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing impatient, they asked, "well, when can we see the baby?"

"When it cries!" she told them.

"When it cries?" they gasped. "Why do we have to wait until it cries?"

"Because, I forgot where I put it."

 

Posted at 11:38am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
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 Only just noticed the photo comment.


Added: Saturday, February 10, 2018 4:00pm
Thank you for commenting on the Algebra blog...I hope she will be able to handle her college classes! 
ib 
Added: Wednesday, September 6, 2017 9:47am

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Added: Saturday, April 25, 2015 12:59pm
Added: Friday, January 16, 2015 7:17pm
Added: Saturday, January 10, 2015 6:42pm
Added: Wednesday, December 31, 2014 9:28am
Added: Sunday, November 2, 2014 10:41am
Added: Wednesday, October 1, 2014 8:56pm
Added: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 11:28pm
Added: Friday, August 1, 2014 11:56am

Added: Friday, April 25, 2014 6:39am
thanks for the comments and hug on my blog
Added: Wednesday, August 7, 2013 4:35pm
Great Stuff! Bring on some more.
Added: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 4:13pm

Added: Tuesday, May 14, 2013 3:12pm
Yep!

I'm 64 and my health and quality of life is going to hell in a handbasket, so
rapidly I've almost got to the point of being unable to take care of myself as well as my dog, so that spectre is looming large.

Buena suerte amigo.
Added: Monday, August 20, 2012 4:58pm
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