BioncaTS
TS/TV/CD, 47   United States
TS/TV/CD
Columbus
Ohio, USA
2,775 mi from you
47
Married/Attached
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5' 9"
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Caucasian
Bi-Curious
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Erotic chat/email, Just penpals, Friends
Men, Women, TS/TV/CD
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TS/TV/CD seeking Friends
I'm exploring gender and making my body match my brain. I am looking for advice and help and support as I decide how to present myself to the world.

I am not looking to hook up as a woman or a trans-woman. I am looking to find friends who understand that I am a woman.

I do not live full time as a woman, I do not have more photos of myself, I will not cam. Please do not ask. I will have more available as I become more comfortable.
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Wonderful Woman
Random thoughts on gender, politics, dateing, and humor
This blog is currently rated 4.5 out of 5
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Trans Fantasy
Friday, March 14, 2008

  I have had some discussions with men who state they are "Admirers" of Trans-women and I have also spoken with TG friends of mine and looked to my own interactions with men.  The vast majority of men looking for a transgendered woman are looking to fulfill a fantasy fueled by porn imagery.

  Fantasy is a lovely thing and should be encouraged.  However, hijacking another person into your fantasy is neither lovely nor to be encouraged.  Assuming that a trans-woman is into the same things that you saw in a porn flick is like assuming your female coworkers are just like Jenna Jameson.  One HUGE difference is everyone knows real-life genetic women, so there is the healthy balance between fantasy and reality.  Fewer people know that they know trans-women, so the balance is never there.  I mean I have had guys assume I was a sex worker, be surprised that I have a degree, and not understand that I don't think about sex all day every day.

  The thing is... this is reality for us.  This is not sex for us.  We aren't becoming women to snag guys.  Transitioning into the correct physical gender isn't sexy or hot or pornographic.  It is expensive, potentially deadly if hormone levels aren't monitored, and emotionally taxing.  Few people looking to date us bother to learn this.  Nobody spends thousands of dollars on surgery and medication just to get laid and be the object of some guys "curiosity".

  The special men and women who have bothered to learn about our reality and genuinely love and admire us do so not for the sexy thrill of a girl with a "dirty secret".  They do so because they admire our courage, our self-awareness, our understanding of ourselves and others, and because of our strength.

Posted at 2:14pm (MST) | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Report Post
Society and Gender Variant People
Tuesday, February 5, 2008

One thing that causes so much stress for Tv/TS/CD men and women is social acceptance.  The plain truth is many of us lose our partners/SOs, family, friends, and even jobs when we are honest.  One thing I have heard is that Gender variations are a result of social decay, lapsed morality, post-modernism... feh!! I say.

For my Tg sisters and brothers, and those who love us or are just a bit curious I offer this message.  Trans people have been around for ever.  History is full of us and different cultures had different ways of including us.

History is full of women passing as men, living/working/loving as men.  Billy Tipton being an example of a TransMan who made the news when he died.  Being a TransWoman, I have spent a bit more time learning about male to female cross dressing/ gender variations so that's what I'll address here.

Two examples from ancient Europe and the Near East are the Priestess of both Cybele (Rome) and Ishtar/Innanna/Astarte (Persia/Babylon/Sumeria).  Both of these goddess had a class of priestess who were born men, dressed as women, ritually castrated themselves, and took as sexual partners men who were seeking special fertility blessings from the goddess.  In the case of Cybele, the Roman elite were less than fond of them and it was considered an insult for a man to be equated to one.  However, amongst the farmers and lower-caste city dwellers, her worship thrived.

The group I am most fond of though, is the Native American "Berdache" or "Two-Spirit" people.  Each tribe had a different name for these special people, but collectively Anthropologists use the French word "Berdache" (meaning "kept boy" - so not a great term) or "Two Spirit" (better) implying a connection to both the male and female.

Will Roscoe wrote a fantastic book "The Zuni Man-Woman" detailing the life of a Two spirit Zuni.  I highly recommend reading it - it's very very good.  What we find in a majority of Native culture is not only acceptance, but an understanding of specialness.  The two Spirit was thought to have a better connection to the spirit world due to their special understanding of the male and female.  There were ceremonies in most tribes that could only be performed by them.. there were special considerations given to them, there was an understanding that they (we) had an insight to life granted to us by virtue of our birth.

Two Spirit's were a practical boon to the tribe as well.  They were generally stronger than the genetic women, so were useful with women's labor.  They had fewer restrictions on tasks they could perform (some tribes had a very strict separation between men's and women's work, some activities being totally restricted on one sex or the other).  The Two Spirit being able to pass from the male to female was able to assist as needed and as their ability allowed.

Two Spirits have been recorded as being married to both men and women.  Thus reflecting the reality of modern trans people.  Gender and sexual orientation  are different and one does not equate to the other (thus trans-lesbians/gay men).

So we may live in a society(s) that do not understand us and may seek to harm or even kill us..but that was/is not always the case.  By using history we can change the future.  By respecting, learning, and speaking about our collective human past we can light the way to a day where gender TRULY doesn't matter. 

Posted at 1:39pm (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
Who's THAT Girl?
Monday, January 28, 2008

Well, it may be more effective to say what I'm not..

I am neither a CD (Cross Dresser) or a TV (Transvestite).  Both of these are quite fine things to be, but not my thing.  For me "Dressing up" putting on makeup, panties, matching my purse and my shoes isn't particularly fun, I don't get a thrill out of it - let's face it, I'll be getting up an hour earlier than I used to to put on a face for work... not exactly hyper glam that..  My taste in clothes isn't particularly "girlie" .. lace kinda itches and overly ruffled clothes kinda confuse me.  I wear the female version of the clothes I wore/wear as a man (hoodies cut for the fem body, jeans, sneakers, etc).  I own dresses, but they are more of a fun retro/ironic thing or simple and understated.. no bangles and boas here....  (So, not a CD with a hyped up idea of "femininity")

Contrary to popular belief I (and most TSs) do not "get off" dressing up.  Putting on women's clothes is about as sexual as crossing the street.  It is what it is and perhaps a means to an end.  Some gals and guys too (ya norty panty bois..god love ya) find feminization to be highly erotic, and good on ya!!  It can be.  Feeling sexy for me is a head to toe thing, so clothes do play a part..as does smell, and taste, and background noise. But specific articles of clothing are not erotically charged for me.

So, I have ruled out two of the Big Three.. that leaves Trans-Sexual.  But, golly, that's a word with lots of meaning for lots of different people.  I will only address this from my own perspective, with some insights from others I have gathered along the way.  At the very very most basic level of understanding for me - I should have been born female.

Before I was 5 years old, for example, I'd tell my playmates that I was a girl.  My mom even wrote a letter to my Kindergarten teacher explaining that I sometimes think I'm a girl.  What does this all mean?? 

It means that the way I think is female (not "feminine").. not in an obsessed with shoes stereotype, but in the way I process information.  The way I respond to my environment.  The way I communicate to people.  The particular tasks I do well vs. the tasks I do poorly.  Obviously, the human brain is as individual as the humans who posses one and the above are broad generalizations about brain and physical gender and one could easily have no conflict with their born gender while also having an a-typical brain sex.   This means that I am a woman and have been female 24/7 my whole life.. I am as female in a suit and tie as I am in a slinky dress.   Very very few people get this so I'll say it again..

I have always thought/reacted/processed information in a very VERY typically female way.  This is regardless of how I am dressed, so I am as female in a suit and tie as I am in a slinky dress.  The clothes, makeup, hair and other articles that trigger "woman" in the average person's mind are useful to me in two very important ways:

1) Aside from being fun..time consuming, but fun... makeup and clothes serve the same purpose for me as they do for genetic women.. they help me feel better about how I look.

2) It help people on the street know how to treat me and what to expect from me.  Men and women treat each other very very differently.  I feel a little guilty sometimes because guys will let their guard down and treat me like "one of the guys"... it's really not fair to them *wink*

For me, gender is between the ears, not the legs (as told to me by someone more wise and lovely than I can ever hope to be).  I think I'll leave with that statement whilst I ponder questions of gender/sexuality/politics/personality... I look forward to any and all comments and hope this gave someone some insight.

Posted at 10:37am (MST) | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Report Post
Added: Thursday, April 1, 2010 7:14am

I've read your blog and am impressed by the insights. As a man who prefers to date Tgirls; it is disturbing to  me that so many men "don't get it."

This results in those of use who do understand having to go thru extra-ordinary measures to begin a friendship, let alone a relationship.

 

I wish you well in your journey and all the best...

Added: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 7:11am

Happy Birthday Baby!!! 

Added: Thursday, July 10, 2008 8:16am

perved  ya ,  he he  ; )

 

Added: Thursday, April 17, 2008 5:34am

Sweet pics sexy!

Added: Saturday, March 1, 2008 2:08pm

just wanted to stop by and say hi  hit me up some time

 

Added: Sunday, December 30, 2007 1:29am
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