CleverTitania
Female, 42   United States
Female
Rock Island
Illinois, USA
2,604 mi from you
42
Single
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5' 4"
BBW
Caucasian
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A long term relationship, Friends
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Women seeking men
Ok, this is going to be down and dirty folks. If you don't intend to read this entire ad, move along. Because if you don't, there's simply no point in contacting me. Here's the deal.

I'm a fiction geek. I watch a lot of television and movies, and read in short bursts (and not just fiction). I'm a writer, primarily of romantic comedies, but I dabble in everything from political articles to erotic fiction. I love music. I mostly listen to what can be called Top 40, but my musical tastes are as eclectic as all the other forms of media I enjoy.

I am a homebody, though I do like to go dancing at clubs once in a while, and am open to going out a little more often. I do not fish, camp, ride motorcycles, drink (I have a cocktail a couple times a year), play bar games, or many of the other activities popular among mid-western men and women. Frankly, I'd rather be living in Northern California or possibly the Portland area. I've been in the Quad Cities my entire life, and I figure I've done my time.

I am a single mother. I am plus sized. I have no interest in being desired for either of those traits. I am a highly intelligent women, who isn't swayed by pretty words and lame compliments. I am not a pushover and I am not a ballbuster. What I am is a woman who knows who she is, what she wants, and makes no apologies for refusing to settle for less. So, if you have an interest in me, you're going to have to know what you're doing.

I have zero interest in casual flings, sexy email relationships, or fuck buddy/booty call situations. I am just the tiniest bit open to a FWB relationship, but it would have to be one impressively potential friend.

What I want is someone who has lived through their share of crap, and played the dating game long enough, to know that they are ready to move on from it. I am only interested in men who are 100% single, NO MORE THAN 10 YEARS OLDER/YOUNGER THAN ME (seriously), relatively local (I would only make exceptions to this for someone who truly fits all other points), are looking for someone with long term potential, and know one very important thing...

A grown and emotionally stable man knows how to form a complete sentence (in print not just in person), knows when to give in to his baser male instincts, and knows that there are times/places for each. He knows that a woman is comprised of far more than just her body type, hair color, bra size, etc... He wants to get to know the whole package, because superficiality is a bore.

And in case this wasn't clear from the rest of the post, I'm only looking for a grown/emotionally stable man. And finally, the man I would have any interest in, would not only agree with the quote below, but would believe it wholeheartedly.

"A girl without a wit is like a deflated basketball: they're only fun for dogs to play with."

Finally, if you're not a full member, there are always ways to get a chance to talk. If you don't know how, probably no point anyway. But don't send me endless tickles. Make the effort or go away. And I do not ad anyone to my friends list unless they actually qualify as one.
Remember that an ad ....
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Is she really that clever?
You be the judge. But remember what Robert Wuhl said, "Judge slowly."
This blog is currently rated 3.5 out of 5
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On the subject of Couples...
Saturday, April 27, 2013
You know, it's a very strange thing, when you realize how many women also can't be bothered to read a profile/ad. Obviously I don't get a lot of reach out's from women, but it is obviously an issue on occasion. And here I thought it was only men who didn't bother to read it.

Over the years I've been on this site I'll get errant couples every year or so, inquiring if I'd be interested in playing with them, despite everything in my profile saying that I'm not interested in women or attached men (though I did once have a mistaken bi-curious label on my profile, so if you see that feel free to let me know). And I am polite in telling them I'm not interested, but like everyone else who blatantly ignores what I am WRITING that I want, I let them know that my profile made pretty clear that what they're offering isn't of interest to me.

Some might find that obnoxious - why can't you just say no and leave it be? Because perhaps, the next time, they'll have a little sense to read the ad, in particular one as long as that, and maybe I'll save another person having to politely decline. And frankly,because they have wasted both my time and theirs, approaching someone who doesn't play in the same way, when they had all the information they needed to avoid it. In my opinion, if they feel they have the right to waste my time, by not doing their due diligence, I have the right to tell them they're wrong. 

Though sometimes I think it's because they imagine that, as a very sexually open and expressive woman, that automatically means I'm at least somewhat open to same-sex play. Except that's a really silly thing to think, really - just because a person is open and self-aware doesn't mean their orientation changes. I am only attracted to women. I certainly think women can be attractive, I"m not remotely turned off by female sexuality, but no matter how hot they are, I have never had a desire to fuck a woman. As such, there's no point in playing with a couple,when I'd only be attracted to one half of them. 

But it makes me wonder, I don't deny it, how many of the women who also can't be bothered to read a profile, are also the dominant people in that couple. Perhaps it's less of a gender thing, and more of a dominant personality thing. 
Posted at 12:34pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
On the Subject of Distance...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
This is a point of contention some men seem to be missing, so let me clarify my issues with geographic incompatibility. 

While I am down to two jobs, I also have a new 3-week old nephew now under my roof, along with his mother of course. Sis lost her job a few months into her pregnancy, and there just wasn't a better option, so she's moved in for a bit. Which is good because she gets the help (and extra sleep options) she needs, especially since it wasn't an easy delivery and it ended in a c-section. Now that's aside from the daily chore of now feeding 4 different people who all like slightly different things. Then there's dealing with my kid, who is now days away from being 16, with almost all that entails (he doesn't have enough credits to take Driver's Ed yet, so I have a reprieve there). 

Meanwhile one of my jobs involves driving all over and having people yell at me for being a nosy bitch... you thought people who deal with lost luggage at the airport have it bad, you'd be amazed at how people treat U.S. Census employees. And the scary part is - I did the airport luggage gig for almost 5 years too! You'd think I was a masochist or a martyr. Nope, just a mom.

My point, in all this, is that if I'm going to make time for a relationship, I have to justify it to myself. I don't enjoy going out just to go out, that is boring if I'm not spending time with someone who talks as much as I do and has some similar interests. But more importantly, if a man doesn't appear to have some obvious compatibility with me, I have more important things that require my time than fishing for Mr. Right. If I'm not likely to have fun, and the guy isn't clearly a potential partner, then there's no way I can justify that. 

Which is why my ad states, pretty clearly, that I'm only willing to make exceptions on the subject of distance for someone really spot on. Because if it's hard enough to justify spending time with someone, imagine justifying spending time just getting TO someone.

But the problem is that some men think I should be willing to make an exception for them, even if they aren't exceptional. And by that I mean STRICTLY in the context of being an exceptional match for me. Or I think some men consider distance only a problem if it's more than a state away. In this economy, that's short sighted. Gas may be going down, but I am not commuting to Chicago or even Peoria unless this guy is 95% compatible at least. 


My ad is not an audition. I'm a published writer, I don't need to audition for random dudes on the internet. My ad is a list of things I am, and that I'm hoping a man out there has in common with me. But some men think that, because they liked reading it, that means I'm a potential partner for them, regardless of whether they have any of those things in common. 

I am also aware that there really are a small amount of men, local to me, on SexyAds - that's reflective of where I live, not SA. I stay at SA, despite the limited availability, because it's a well run site and I owe a lot to Maureen and Jayce. My lack of VIP status is reflective of the limited number of QC area people on the site. Well, that and that I've been broke for 3+ years. :)

But regardless of what website I'm on, or what kind of man comes my way -  he better be a damn-near perfect complement if we're going to have to get to know each other via Skype, and travel more than an hour to be face-to-face. I don't care how hot you are, how great you are in bed, or how well endowed you might be... if your pillow talk isn't worth the drive I'm not commuting to see (or do anything else with) you. 

Posted at 8:38pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Greeting Cards
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Here's my feeling on the greeting cards thing - yes it's kind of nice when an old friend sends a "Hi" that way, or someone says a Happy B-day (even if I do tend to try and ignore that day of the year). I know I'm awful at keeping in contact with old friends, and I respect the kind of people who do take that time.

But please don't send me a greeting card, telling me how great I am, as a romantic introduction. I know some women would take it as an ego boost, but I'm not one of those women, particularly when I see comments on your profile which indicate many women get cards from you, and likely many women have gotten the one you sent me. 

I realize my non-pay status makes contact difficult, but if you aren't more imaginative than that just don't bother. If you can't come up with a better introduction, then you probably didn't even read my entire ad anyway, and therefore you're probably not remotely a good match for me.

And yes, this post is fairly negative. I'm working three jobs right now, and still not making enough money to pay the bill I took the 3rd job to cover, so I'll confess I'm quite pissed at every second I waste on feeble contacts from men who don't even fit my basic requirements (such as single and not as old as my father). 

I'm just too tired to be polite about this. 


Not like it matters though - because the kind of men who send them probably don't read the blogs anyway. <Le sigh>


Posted at 9:39am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Thanks to Ladybbad
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Since only VIP members can leave comments (I'm totally cool with that, but I do wish we could at least leave replies/thanks on our own profiles), I just wanted to thank Ladybbad for her nice comment on my profile. 
And as a major league anglo-phile (new episodes of Mock the Week and QI just started, yay!!), I kind of wanted to add to my reply to vsop dude...

I most certainly don't care how UK guys spell anything over there. Hell, find me a great guy on that side of the pond and I'll jump ship on this continent faster than Maureen did. If he's got a Welsh accent, even better. :) 
Posted at 6:45pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
If Age Is Just a Number, What’s the Point Of Counting?
Friday, June 12, 2009
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(Sorry I haven't been reposting the blogs lately guys. Frankly, I'd gotten kind of frustrated with reposting my new blog to all my older ones.  But especially for my b-day, here's my newest)

The old standard, that it was impolite to ask a woman her age, is not quite as prevalent it once was. In fact, if certain television ads are to be believed, some women love revealing their age, provided their beauty regiment projects a much smaller number than the reality. Personally, I’ve never really concerned myself overly with the number associated with my years on this earth. However, lately the sharing of that number has been followed by, “Man I feel old.” But the truth is, I don’t, and that is exactly the issue. What I should say is, “Why am I this old?”

Today, I turned 34. I realize that many of you are rolling your eyes right now, imagining me as quite the melodramatic bird. But the reason I react the way I do, is not about vanity, but incredulity. I can’t possibly be so close to 40. It’s just inconceivable. In my mind, I still haven’t passed 24. I don’t feel like a grown up, and I damn sure don’t feel like I’m coming up on middle age. But, like all things in my life, I’m of multiple minds.

After all, I am now the target demographic for three separate decades of VH1’s “I Love The...” TV shows. The other day I watched the season premiere of Royal Pains, and found myself wondering; did they had to explain who MacGyver was, to the 16 year old actress making the joke about him? There is a whole generation of kids right now, who don’t remember the Smurfs, Rainbow Bright, Kidd Video or Guys Next Door (ok maybe there are people in my gen who don’t remember the last two). And the other day, my 13 year old son found out that his half-sister is pregnant. Which means; his father, is going to be a grandfather. Ok, so he’s 41 now, but still!

So if I am this old, why don’t I feel like I am? Why do I still blast my music in the car, and sing at the top of my lungs regardless of the two guys staring at me from a truck on the freeway? Hmm, might be a bad example. My mom does tell me I was singing before I could talk. But why did I recently buy bright purple hair extensions? Why did I spend a few years trying to talk my son into growing his hair long, before the director of the little independent movie he’s working on, got him to do it? Why do I still say “Dude?” when my sister says something crazy, and roll my eyes when my mother grumbles at me that I forgot to do something? Why do I still feel like a young adult, with the whole world ahead of me, when many parts of it have passed me by?

Maybe it’s because, there are things I have yet to do in my life, that I refuse to believe are lost to me. I believe I will still find the love of my life. I believe I will somehow reach my dreams of writing the screenplay that steals the hearts of a generation (even if it’s not my generation). I believe that I will still see the world, one day own a ’67 Ford Mustang convertible, get hired as a writer for a Mutant Enemy show, and maybe even make my son a big brother eventually. As time passes, these things seem less likely to come true, but I can’t let them go.

And even when the big 4-0 finally does hit me, I don’t think any of this will change (although I can hope I’ll have hit one or two of those dreams before then).  I don’t want to turn into a person who acts her age. I’d prefer to stay 24 in my head, and have ‘grown-ups’ roll their eyes at me. Frankly, it’s a lot better than letting some arbitrary number determine my behavior. I’ll play the adult games if I must. I’ll be responsible and take care of my family and pay my mortgage. But just because I do the grown-up things, doesn’t mean I have to become one.

If I could have any birthday wish in the world (besides going go-cart racing with Zachary Levi as I texted my sis this morning); it would be to never feel like this silly number. So today, I am 34 years old. But it doesn’t define me, or affect me. I’ll keep being the me I want to be, and to hell with the calendar.

Posted at 9:53am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
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Added: Tuesday, June 12, 2018 6:42am

Added: Friday, January 5, 2018 5:51am
Just popped in to say what a sheer brilliant retort to the vsop male in the home page article about being too picky. I can understand where you were coming from about language and grammar. I send my hellos to you from across the pond , and yes we do spell things differently over here but we'll forgive the colonies for their own improvisations to it thus far !!!!!
Added: Wednesday, September 14, 2011 6:13pm
Added: Sunday, June 12, 2011 10:44am
Thanks, but it's not a hoodie, it's a cloak. 
Added: Saturday, March 19, 2011 3:48pm
thnxs 4 the comment sweetie!!!
Added: Monday, July 12, 2010 1:26pm
Added: Friday, December 11, 2009 8:40pm
I like your photos....love the leg and foot shot.
Added: Saturday, March 14, 2009 10:11pm

Hello thanks for the comment. Are you familar with my neck of the woods?

 

Added: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 6:12am

Well thank you Ed, but I'm not looking for cyber dating. As you can see, from my profile, I am looking for a LTR situation.

Added: Sunday, November 16, 2008 11:01pm

Hi Titania, sexy leg, lets chat 

Added: Sunday, November 16, 2008 9:37pm

Well thank you deano. I am in the chat rooms a fair amount, mostly in the late evenings. I hang out the #bedroom a lot, so I'm knowable. :)

Added: Saturday, September 27, 2008 8:42am
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