Female, 55   United States
Illinois, USA
2,598 mi from you
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A long term relationship, Friends
5 days ago
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Life is good!
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Hello everyone! I am a long time member of SA, but not on very often. When I am on, I chat with friends and do not respond to chat or cam viewing requests so please do not ask. I do like to meet new friends and will respond in the chat rooms. Thanks.
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The Goddess is in Session
My blog entries may be sporadic since, well, I'm lazy...Unless there is drama going on in my life. Oh wait, I actually may be blogging a lot then...
This blog is currently rated 4 out of 5
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I have been thinking of Keen recently, and was desperate to find an email from him sent long ago, before his illness.  It was a poem that he wrote for me when I was sad about something.  I will share it now (I don't think he'd mind), because it was one of the sweetest things that anyone has ever done for me.  I am so glad I found it - he was a treasure and is sorely missed.  Love you Keen.  RIH my friend.

keen4one wrote:
A goddess appeared one day like a dream
Exotic, erotic an earth angel she seemed
Across the ocean far from the Land called OZ,
Is where she lived, so dating my be a prob.

Family has always played such an important role in her life
SHe leans on the values and memories of those passed when in strife
If the world seems to close in and dark clouds are near
Black olive or blue wil be the colours to light and bring cheer

A hopeless romantic, loving reading movies and to shop
Never a quick a visit, her motto SHOP till you DROP
Once captured you will fnd a loving relationship can be sporned
GIve and expect total commitment if love is then formed

Love of herself is the last frontier to be met,
So many characteristics to love and adore you will get
Being lucky to share her sweet love and care as her friend
I know our bond will be strong until the very end.
Posted at 8:18am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
Update on moi
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Hello SA friends,
It's been almost a year since I last posted.  I couldn't believe it until I read my last post..lol.  Well, the surgery went fine.  I am good, and while on thyroid medications for the rest of my life, I am good.  The surgery went as the Dr. said--I was in ICU for two days, then in an regular room for 3 days, followed by 10 days of rehab.  Luckily, my cousin and one of my best friends came in from out of town to make sure I was taken care of.

Not much new, but I am trying to get out more and do the things I like to do.  I am grateful that I can get around as well as I can with the Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Always a challenge; always a pain...but I am here.

I lost a good friend in a house fire a couple of weeks ago, and it still has had a significant impact on me--how life can change so quickly.  She did not have any working smoke detectors, and died of smoke inhalation.  I have tried to accept her passing, but it is so hard to do.  She was full of life, and love for her friends.  Please check your smoke/carbon dioxide detectors--get new ones and/or batteries for the ones you have.  If you can't afford them, contact your local fire department as they might be able to provide a new one free of charge.

Posted at 5:18am (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
Checking in
Friday, March 25, 2016
Hello all

I just wanted to say hi to everyone, and especially my friends who I've missed as I am not here often.  I have some upcoming medical stuff, and am here to vent and also ask for prayers and support.

Back in January, I caught what I thought was a nasty bug that would not go away.  I finally went to see my doctor when I coughed up blood. Being in a profession in which I have done research for a living, that has its good and bad sides.  But a hypochondriatic researcher is probably the worst.

Long story short, I had a chest xray, and nothing notable was found in my lungs, BUT, the radiologist noted an issue with my thyroid--like it was in places it shouldn't have been.

Bottom line, I need to have a total thyroidectomy (plus removal of tonsils and adenoids) in late April.  AND I AM SCARED SHITLESS.  Now, for most people who are otherwise healthy, not a big deal.  But I am considered morbidly obese with high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma, sleep apnea, blah, blah, blah.  I am afraid I won't wake up.

It didn't help that the physician's assistant was the one who told me, when I came in for the first visit.  Then the surgeon asked me if anyone had ever talked to me about bariatric surgery.  Oh like 50 FUCKING THOUSAND TIMES...Needless to say, first visit did not go well--I cried and was nearly in shock.  It didn't help that I found out half my head would be removed in the same surgery (lol), that it be would be a "complicated" surgery and... I would have a trach put in, be intubated and be put in ICU for 1-2 days.  I was a mess and cried the rest of the day.  And every time I had to update what was going on. For weeks.  Then I was told I'd have to have a biopsy. Ohhhhhh....luckily that went ok.

Having learned a little more, I feel less anxiety, but enough to write this down.

The worst part is, is that I feel so alone in this.  I wish I had the "ride or die" best friend I used to have before just about all of them went on to have families and relationships and lives of their own.  The one who will be there, no matter what. I am fortunate to have friends who are then when they can be though.  Thank God for them. 
Posted at 1:52pm (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
Keen--any update?
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Is there any update on Keen?  I miss him so much, and was sad to hear of his illness.
Posted at 4:12pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Annual check in
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Hello friends:

It's been a while since I have posted anything, so just to update on what's going on with me...

1. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis last September.  I am doing ok, but must use a walker to get around.  Went through a major depression period for several months, grappling to deal with this and fearing what is in store for me as I age.  Became resolved to do the best I can with what I have, and accept that my life has changed course a bit.  It is frustrating that I can't walk though--I didn't appreciate that ability when I could, and had a dream where I was walking normally.  THAT would be the thing that would make me happy.  I need to keep that as my major focus right now.

2.  No news on the love life front, other than the last man I was interested in -- those feelings are totally gone.  He was not for me, and I think I always knew it.  We do remain great friends--his woman from across the pond has come to the states, and they are together, but the relationship is up and down so often, I never know what is going on with them.

3. Still in love with the man I always will love.  Just have to accept it.  If I do have another chance for love, at least I have a lot of lessons learned over those years, and to remember them when needed.

4. Not on SA much anymore--it was so much fun for a long time, and I have developed friendships and "fun"ships that made me realize that yes, I can sustain relationships with men.  I did fall hard for several men on here, but none were available--geography, relationship status, or whatever. Each had a piece of my heart, but I eventually had to move on.  When it was no longer fun, and there was no hope that it would be more, I had to let go. But I thank them for helping me grow in many ways.

5. I feel like I am in a good place--if I meet someone, fine.  But if not, I will accept it, and hope to spread that love in other ways.

Here's to 2016--and wishes for all of you that it be a happy, healthy, blessed one full of love.


Posted at 4:10pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
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I wish you and yours all the best in the upcoming year!

"Fly baby fly!"

Much love,
Added: Saturday, December 31, 2011 9:05am
This holiday season and the year to come I pray for much laughter, fabulous food, a multitude of blessings, and most important--many-many loved ones and friends for you for the year to come. 

Much love,

Added: Saturday, December 24, 2011 4:29pm
Added: Saturday, December 24, 2011 5:24am
Added: Sunday, December 4, 2011 5:14am
thanks for the kind words
Added: Monday, October 10, 2011 5:14pm
Would be awesome if you could make it in April!!!  Hope to see you there..
Added: Friday, July 29, 2011 5:58pm
Thanks for your comment in my blog Hon.  LOL @ give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  I hadn't heard, is she dating someone new?

Have fun,
Added: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 8:14am
Thank you so much for the friends request  
Added: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 6:41am

I can identify with your post from earlier...I used to feel the same way.  Hang in there...I promise it gets better. 
Added: Saturday, April 30, 2011 9:38pm
Thank you for your comment on my blog, Goddess.
Added: Wednesday, April 27, 2011 12:13pm
I hope that you have a fabulous holiday weekend with your loved ones and friends.  I hope that you are able to enjoy delicious food and drink to your fill.

Much love,

P.S.  The pic is a chocolate and bacon egg.
Added: Friday, April 22, 2011 11:50am
Thank you for your comment in my blog on my hothothot poem!  LOL  This popped into my head in its entirety.  What I like about it is the rhythm if you read it out loud.

I do hope I surprised some people.  Being shy and private doesn't mean prudish.  LOL

Have fun,
Added: Saturday, April 9, 2011 1:51pm

Added: Monday, March 28, 2011 3:01pm
LOL Thanks for your blog comment.

Have fun,
Added: Sunday, March 27, 2011 8:33am
Thanks for commenting on my blog.  I have gotten to know some of my families as well as their loved ones.  It's the little things, isn't it?
Added: Saturday, March 12, 2011 9:01am
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