Female, 49   United States
Kentucky, USA
2,870 mi from you
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BBW seeking men
I am a BBW: Yep, that means I am a Big Beautiful Woman. I don't have an issue with my body nor shall you. I have had the great fortune to date kind, fabulous, and gorgeous men in my almost 42 yrs.

I am highly intelligent with common sense to match. I am a fan of humor, conversations, good food, people and their stories, travel, coffee, chocolate, card/board games, computers, movies, books, etc.

I am looking for a kind, interesting, and passionate man. I hope to meet someone who is laid back and who has reasonably weathered life well. I am initially attracted to personality, quality of character, and intelligence. Then, to the tall guys with a bit of weight. Ethnicity is irrelevant for me.

I have been out of the dating scene for about three years. I injured my back on the job and then broke my leg. I moved back here two years ago to heal and recoup and now live with my twin brother. I lived in CA for nine years and we will be moving to CA in a year, or so. We are originally from s. Indiana.

I need someone to be patient as I spread my wings again. Right now I have been home a lot and would like to get out, active, and acquainted with the myself and the area.

One of my all-time favorite adult dating experience was in my last long-term relationship. We enjoy and savored the time we spent at his place: cooking, hobbies, curled up together watching movies with candles, coffee, chocolate, passion, etc.
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Hello! I am looking for a pencil sketch....
I am looking for a pencil sketch of a bbw standing and looking back over her shoulder. If you come across this please let me know. I initially saw this photo when I was on SA before in a moderator's profile--I just don't recall who that was. Have fun, Jen xoxo
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The gun thing...
Wednesday, August 22, 2012

My twin and I have talked about this quite a bit since moving to Louisville. Jeff is more knowledgeable about practical experience w/guns than I am. He has pretty well been around them w/our male family members all his life and has hunted quite a bit. I have only handled a gun twice--if I recall correctly.

I always research large topics like this extensively. The statistics aren't all that favorable for a woman having a gun for self-defense vs. men. I would have to take several gun lessons and self-defense courses.

I would use a gun for self-protection, but wouldn't use one for defending property. Did that make sense?

I don't think either incident that happened this last year would have warranted presenting a gun, but the knowledge of me being able to protect myself would have been beneficial. I do well during stressful things, but then afterwards it takes me a bit to get over things.

I have heard a few times now about the can of wasp spray. I will get a can of it and keep in the van and one for the apt.

I did make a call to the local police department and made an anonymous report. I didn't want to file an actual report that would have my name and address in public files.

We discussed it again last night--the two incidents and Jeff says now he wishes that we had filed a report each time.

I thought there was about 8-10 teenagers and he said it was much more--there were two other groups, he said about 8-15 in each group, that I didn't see. He said we were smack in the middle of a gang. I didn't realize that and was sort of irritated w/myself to have not have seen that for myself. Learning here.

I read somewhere to walk tall and to make eye contact--it said most women walk looking down. I do do that--make eye contact, but I now see I need to start doing a better job about being observant. geez

Jeff did some research and the majority of crimes for this area are people that know each other, money owed, drug related, domestic violence, etc. There is a high crime and murder rate here--but rarely the random act of violence. It is common to experience the sort of incidents that we have, but not for them to escalate beyond what we have experienced. I told Jeff that I am thankful for that information, not sure though that it really comforts me.

Jeff mentioned getting two types of guns--a regular bullet one and a bean bag one. Not sure what the name of the bean bag one is--but I do feel comfortable w/the thought of training for both.

I wrote this blog out because I think it is interesting to get the different opinions and experiences and that it is an important conversation to have post the two scary incidents.

I hope that everyone is well and are having beautiful weather like we are here.

I saw the ortho doc today and the injury to the shin from my fall in March, he believes, is permanent. He took lateral x-rays today of the ankle and the hardware and he doesn't feel that I would gain any relief from them being removed. He is leaving it up to me. I asked him if he were me, what would he do and he said that he couldn't answer that. He felt that I had a 50/50 chance of relief. grrrrr

Have fun,

Posted at 3:42pm (MST) | Comments (6) | Add Comment | Report Post
Thank you all...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Thank all you sweet souls for the birthday wishes, cards, emails, and calls.  I am a fortunate woman.  Says a lot about all of you that did this for me and where I haven't done well staying in touch w/everyone.  Means a lot to me.

My twin made our b-day cake today.  I was going to make it, but pain meds weren't working enough.  My twin went shopping, made the cake, dinner, and helped w/cleaning up.  He is my angel.  Below is a pic of the cake he made.  Awww...xoxo

Then I received a care package from our jawga and I got a package from our sweet cherry--sea shells from Hawaii.  I am still smiling.

Thank you all again--I really needed this bright spot.

Much love,

Posted at 7:25pm (MST) | Comments (3) | Add Comment | Report Post
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Last night I ran out of cigs and I asked my twin to ride along w/me because Louisville--this neighborhood--you definitely don't want to be out unless you have to.  grrrrrr

Jeff rarely likes to do stuff like that and told me this was a once in a lifetime favor.  lol  He's a good guy, even if he barks a bit.

We pull up to the convenience store and there are a group of 8+ teenagers hanging out front.  I go into the store and two are loudly buying lottery tickets and arguing w/the cashier about something.  One of them turns and intentionally cuts in front of me--doing like a shoulder bump thing as he leaves.

I go out to the car and I am taking a moment to put my purse down, seat belt, etc. and they start fanning out in front of the van and one tosses soda on the windshield and then one spits on the van.  I am trying to back up and not hit any of them--so I lay on my horn for a bit.  One takes a running jump and kicks the passenger door--where Jeff was at.  I stayed on my horn then as I continued to back out.

I was hopping mad!  I don't do well w/people thinking they have the right for that kind of chit.  Jeff was upset that I honked the horn and felt I made things worse.  If I had felt safe in doing so--I would have confronted them, but you could tell they were high, or drunk, or both.

They were 14-16 years old.  Jeff pointed out a news article that the most dangerous group is that age bracket and in that kind of neighborhood.  I am intentionally not mentioning the race.  Jeff pointed out that he had concerns when he saw the group and regretted not telling me to leave and go to another store.

I stopped in the convenient store after my doc appt. this a.m. to speak w/the manager and I told him they were buying lottery tickets and what they did and he denied it--said that would never happen in his store.  FFS!  I told him women have a right to come into the store and feel reasonably safe--at that, he turned and walked away.  He didn't ask for my name, number, nothing.  Jerk!

I have to think they--the boys or the manager--would not have done that if I were a male.  We were fortunate, but still...I have a hard time w//that kind of chit.  That makes two incidents w/groups in this neighborhood this year.  Thankfully, the only two since moving here 05/09

Once Jeff has things worked out w/work, his new promotion, etc. settled--then around January he will be open to moving.

I am seriously thinking about a gun.  Not sure though--there are equal statistics about, or not, a woman owning a gun. 

I am not foolish enough to get shot over something like that, but geez.  Jeff was pretty irritated w/me for running out of cigs and having to go out so late and that I didn't move faster, and then laid on the horn like I did.  Oh, well...lessons learned--thank goodness safely.

I am home now resting and another doc appt. this afternoon.  I hope that you all are well. 

Thank you all for your comments and support--I am a fan.

Have fun,
Posted at 10:53am (MST) | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Report Post
Update and having a rough time...
Monday, August 13, 2012

Went to the ortho doc today for my leg where I fell in March--he said it is still quite a serious injury. He put an uno wrap on it today--sort of a wet ace bandage compression wrap that sets up then. On for 10 days--then again as needed. No getting it wet. Sort of like a flexible cast. Both doctors have confirmed that the swelling that looks like half a cantaloupe taped to my shin is most likely permanent. grrrrrrr

Once we get the swelling down a bit more--then he will take out the two rods and screws from that ankle and leg from where I broke it a few years ago. He said it sucks that both injuries are the same leg.

Sorry I haven't been in touch w/anyone the last few weeks--sort of having a rough time w/my back and the new meds. The new meds make me sleep quite a bit.

I am really having a rough time right now. Really could use some hugs, support, and prayers--and chocolate too? Going to the rheumatologist tomorrow for the fibro and chronic fatigue, then the family doc, then to the pain doc for another round of epidural shots for my lowers back. Having a rough time w/my back and the new pain meds--makes me very sleepy and still doesn't help w/the pain. grrrrrr

With this flexible cast on--none of my shoes fit and it is quite uncomfortable.

My b-day is this week--I know silly, but w/struggling right now and not able to do anything for my b-day, makes me extra tender and frustrated. Jeff and my daughter and her family have really been great and supportive. They are my angels. I can't imagine my world w/o them. xoxo

I hope that everyone is well.

Have fun, Jen xoxo

Posted at 3:19pm (MST) | Comments (12) | Add Comment | Report Post
Touching base and another long ass blog lol
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

This pic is sort of what I am hanging my hat on right now.  Since injuring my back and breaking my leg--I sort of feel like that Elton John song "Candle in the Wind".  One of my frequent prayers is to guide me to a place to where I can hang my hat on--across the board.  Reminds me of that poem I wrote last year--I will paste it at the end of this.  Jawga--sorry if you get misty eyed again.  lol 

I guess another preface of another 'long ass blog'--skip, or exit lol, at wheel.  We need an airline stewardess emoticon.  loll

I just mentioned to our naughty 'naughty'--that I have sort of gone off the rails for a moment, but to give me a few and I will be back on and rolling forward (one can hope) forward again soon.  I told her to watch for the white flag soon.  lol  gggrrr...damndarnit!  (damndarnit is a funny family story lol)

Sorry that I haven't been around for a bit--sort of having a rough time w/my back, the new meds, doc appts., the heat and no a/c in the van, etc.  I didn't know my phone wasn't working and had 15 messages...ooopppsss...not to mention the text (how do you pluralize that? lol) and emails. 

A couple/few people are upset w/me, but sorry about that.  Doing the best I can here.  I haven't been doing anything but playing the FB games, doc appts., watching movies, sleeping, and eating.  I feel a bit better today.  It is what it is...gggrrr...damndarnit!

It is a lovely evening here w/a summer rain storm.  Oh, I do love everything (safely) about the rain and storms.  I have the movie "Broadcast News" going--I haven't seen this one before.  It looks good.

Today has been a movie marathon day:  "Too Big to Fail", "Game Change", "Recount", and "Fair Game".  Just that kind of day.  All sans chocolate though--bummer.  grrr  Oh, my twin brought some of the best rocky road ice cream home--I forgot that.  geez

I hope that everyone is well and taking care of yourselves.  Thank you and smooches to the sweet souls that checked in on me and missed (noticed? lol) me.

Much love,

In her heart she ask the angels for their strength
Not knowing where to go
Or what to even ask for
Pushed to a place she no longer knows
Living a life she doesn't recognize

In her dreams she soars
There she is free
Gliding over the oceans
She dips her wings
Bold and brave in her dreams she is

In her sleep she looks back
Recognizing her
Her grace is but a veil
Beyond the hope for surrender
Her light is fading--fading quick

Her constant prayer is
To remember who she is
To find a place she belongs
To love all those around her largely and deeply
To know exactly who she is

She prays for hope
To have faith and be free
That she will have the courage to move forward
She knows stagnation is worse than death

Posted at 10:25pm (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
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