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Female, 39 United States
2,407 mi from you
Erotic chat/email, A discreet relationship, Casual sex, BDSM, Friends
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Journey Through The Other Side
Another hidden face in the crowd pausing to reflect, ramble to no one in particular and explore.
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Conundrums and musings
Friday, October 8, 2010
It's 9 a.m. and I sit here wondering what today will be like. Where my mind will go with all of this.
I have to take a pause to reflect on the very concept of blogging my way through an adult meeting site to begin with. Ha!
Feeling somewhat confident this is not a sign of something clinical, (giggles), but rather statistical in our current society, I imagine the eyebrows that would have raised just a few generations ago on our means to the end.
While I do agree that in certain fashions our behaviors and values in general on certain topics have declined over time along with our perceptions and judgments, I also believe that generations ago were not so different from us in the regards of desires and needs. Rather, I believe it possible repression manifested itself in other areas. Certain needs have gone by the wayside and deemed politically incorrect, wrong, unacceptable, while others are now acceptable and celebrated.
We sacrificed some for the others.
For example, the desire for a woman to engage herself in a lifestyle where her life is devoted to another rather than herself alone seems to be taken as a hostility towards those who choose their own form of freedom.
Why is diversity of wants, needs, lifestyle and ideologies only good for those that set the rules and tones but intolerance as a form of diversity is not tolerated?
Not that I personally am intolerant, I can agree to disagree, but I question this and being here sifting through profiles with such a wide range of desires I notice a glaring lack of particular boundaries listed in terms of desire.
Perhaps I am just overly tired at the moment and thinking too much on a non issue.
I stayed up way too late last night sorting through which websites offered what and how the heck it all works, then figuring out what exactly they are for and what to expect.
The expect part is simplest, just wait for people to start sending messages and they will show you.
I can already see where my weakness lies, I just don't have experience and cyber skills to move fast enough for lots.
I don't want to change who am I at my core and jumping head first, asking questions later or not at all, I cannot foresee becoming a fluid progression.
I did dare to enter a chat room and found it initially overwhelming at first but managed to be whisked away to somewhere quieter for a couple hours to talk with someone. It was an enlightening conversation where I found myself fluctuating a bit between holding on to how I want to be viewed and the way we behave to seek that and dropping it a bit to let my caution down.
I guess I am a bit shy but there is an inner being chewing her leg off to get out of a box.
It may help to hone in more precisely on what I am seeking and not seek ideals but rather enjoy what is offered- within reason.
I am pondering balance because whether sacrificing one half of self for another regardless of which half, will not result in completeness but a form of integration of the two could very well lead to satisfaction.
Our conversation ended amicably and without any adultish action but if he has the patience and ambition to engage again, that may change.
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