Lyssa_Dragon
TS/TV/CD, 41   United States
TS/TV/CD
Canandaigua
New York, USA
2,650 mi from you
41
Married/Attached
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6' 3"
A little chubby
Native American
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Just Friends
TS/TV/CD seeking Friends
I am just here looking for friends. If you are looking for more than that, move along. If you are upset by the fact I am only looking for friends....move along. I don't want to hear you whining about it. I am quite happily taken by a beautiful and wonderful woman. I am always looking for more friends and great chat though. So if you are ok with just being friends and chatting, please feel free to contact me!
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About me!
I am a separated MtF TV/CD whose is looking for women, or other TV/TS/CD for friends, friends with benefits, or maybe more in the Finger Lakes Region of NY. I Am 32 years old, a firefighter, and a paramedic. I am interested in outdoor as well as indoor activities, including clubs, hiking, reading, swimming, martial arts, and many more things. I consider myself fun-loving and easy going. I do enjoy a drink every now and then. I do not smoke, nor do I do or approve of illegal drugs. I am a little overweight, though I have been told I carry it well, and I am working to reduce this problem. I could even use a workout partner if such things interest you. So, feel free to send me a message and see if we can get along.
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Lizard Birth
Saturday, April 16, 2011

Lizard Birth

If you've raised kids or been one, and gone through the pet syndrome, including flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here’s what happened:

Just after dinner one night my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," He told me "I'm serious Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back looking stressed. I immediately know what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (again with sarcasm!)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. 

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanish a scant later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should we call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.

"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern with females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, Breath," he urged.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may i speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodded for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be ok?" my wife asked.

"Oh perfectly," the vet assured us. "The lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um...... um....... masturbate. Just the way he did lying on his back" 

He blushed, glancing at my wife. We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just, just...... excited," my wife offered

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle and then even laugh loudly.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...That... I'm.... picturing you pulling on its..... its......teeny..little....." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be ok.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards 0
One cage:
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie “Priceless!!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay EGGS!!!!

Posted at 1:09am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Romeo and Juliet
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I don't understand why people always want to be like Romeo and Juliet in their love lives.  They never got to be together, and they killed themselves.  This to me sounds like a terrible love life.  I would never want to emulate something so pitiful.
Posted at 10:45am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Deadly Words from Women
Friday, March 18, 2011
DEADLY TERMS USED BY WOMEN: 1.FINE-This is the word women use to end an argument when they KNOW they are right and you need to shut up. 


2.NOTHING-This means SOMETHING and you should be wary.


3.GO AHEAD-This is a dare, NOT permission. DON'T DO IT! 


4.WHATEVER-is a woman's way of saying F*YOU! 


5.THAT'S OK-She's thinking long and hard before deciding HOW and WHEN you WILL pay for your mistake!
Posted at 1:59am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
One of those Moment...
Friday, March 4, 2011
Ever had one?


Posted at 6:12am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Politics Explained
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Posted at 5:57am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
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 GREAT PHOTOS, VERY BEAUTIFUL LEGS  &  ASS,  IT ALL LOOKS GREAT!!
Added: Monday, February 14, 2011 8:29am
Lyssa, are you sure you aren't from Alaska? The only other person I knew that would shovel snow without a coat was from there and wilted in the heat too, lol.
Added: Tuesday, January 11, 2011 5:46pm
sorry cudnt answer it quickly i was away

happy new year to you

sarah
Added: Wednesday, January 5, 2011 1:32am
Added: Saturday, January 1, 2011 3:41am
aww thank u for the ratings mwah x x
Added: Thursday, December 30, 2010 4:48am
merry christmas
Added: Saturday, December 25, 2010 8:44am
Wishing you the most wonderful Christmas ever!
Added: Saturday, December 25, 2010 7:04am
Hi,

Merry Christmas and thank yu for comment Ingrid (when dressed) xxx
Added: Saturday, December 25, 2010 5:39am
thank you!.....that is very nice of you,Lyssa!..........wish you a very tranny christmas!!!!and a happy new...........DRESS!
Added: Thursday, December 23, 2010 12:47pm
Thank You sweetie Merry Christmas to you too
Added: Thursday, December 23, 2010 7:23am
A fire Dragon can have a too!
Wishing you a joyful Holiday season too!
Added: Wednesday, December 22, 2010 10:53am
Added: Friday, December 17, 2010 5:41pm
 Thank you Lyssa so much for the comments on my photos. They are my first attempt at this. Its difficult to take pictures of one self. LOL
Take care and enjoy the holidays.
Best wishes always Lacey.
Added: Saturday, December 11, 2010 4:26pm
I gave you good votes on your photos in the contest.   :)
Added: Friday, December 10, 2010 2:23pm
Thank You sweetie...
Added: Thursday, December 9, 2010 6:13pm
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