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Male, 45 United States
2,197 mi from you
Me in france
Erotic chat/email, A discreet relationship, Casual sex, A long term relationship, Just penpals, Phone Chat, Friends
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These enhanced profiles will give you a much better insight into OregonDuckDude's lifestyle, desires, fantasies and more. Click on any of the links to open a new window and view OregonDuckDude's answers to questions on the following topics...
Single like a stick of Dynomite!
Men Seeking Women
40somthing single ex-militery guy who has never married and does not have kids. i am looking for a person that has a good mind and a great sence of humor. this is a must. i really want to find someone who just wants to learn and grow thru a shared life experience.
where you can find me on sexy Ads
Men seeking penpals
i go to the bedroom for chat cause its a good place to meet and greet people look me up there and give me a shout out
Remember that an ad ....
Do i need to remind you i am ODD?
The things i think about and love to share
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Tuesday, August 12, 2014
The New Sex Contract
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I, _______________________, hereby surrenderall possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one (1) night of USDA approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact/harass or vex said co-signer of contract for a time of no less than thirty (30) days and nights after said activities have been fulfilled. I also surrender all rights to propagate rumors, misnomers and dirty looks in the cafeteria from myself and friends, and will treat said co-signer with all the respect due a stranger. I will say "hi" if we pass within ten (10) meters in a friendly, if not neutral, tone. I will also upon completion of heretofore listed activities not leave underwear, earrings or other insignificant yet oh-so-valuable knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-signer's abode for the sole purpose of returning to said abode and breaking the no-contact agreement of this document. I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body, and will not call said co-signer by any other name than is his or her own, nor reminisce on some former slime-ball/great lover who wore the same cologne, roll-on, boxer shorts or robe. I will also pay one-half of all laundry fees as needed after prescribed activity.
New Letter From HR about your job!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as S.L.A.P. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place.
This review phase of the program will be called S.C.R.E.W. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers).
All employees who have bee n S.L.A.P.P.ED and S.C.R.E.W.ED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called S.H.A.F.T. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be S.L.A.P.P.ED once, S.C.R.E.W.ED twice, but may be S.H.A.F.T.E.D. as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: H.E.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or C.L.A.P. (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment). As H.E.R.P.E.S. and C.L.A.P. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S . or C.L.A.P. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training ( S.H.I.T.) Program. We take pride in the amount of S.H.I.T. our employees receive. We have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough S.H.I.T. on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S.H.I.T. you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of loyal service with us!
Pussy Vs. Beer Debate
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...