Male, 55   United States
Grand Prairie
Texas, USA
3,151 mi from you
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5' 10"
A few extra pounds
Erotic chat/email, A discreet relationship, Casual sex, BDSM, A long term relationship, Just penpals, Spanking
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Meatloaf had it right
If ya don't understand what I mean, go listen to Paradise by the dashboard light and you'll agree with me. The girls might be a little miffed but will have to agree also.
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Thursday, April 16, 2009

A Russian&an ARKANSAS Hillbilly named GERALD were set to square off for The Olympic wrestling gold medal. Before the final match, GERALD's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of his 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.'

The Hillbilly nodded in acknowledgment.

As the match started, GERALD and the Russian Circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing GERALD and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the Trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, then A cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Hillbilly collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got GERALD alone, He asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'

GERALD answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.'

The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?' 'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.'


A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.  He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately, the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.  Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong. "I feel terrible!” he explains, "I accidentally hit the EasterBunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." 
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.  Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can?  What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..

"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hare, and adds permanent wave."

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched
in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome
of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his
groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately
 began to apologize.
 'Please allow me to help.. I'm a Physical
 Therapist and I know I could
 relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine
 in a few minutes,' the man
 replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal
 position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her
to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them
to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for
several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I still think my
thumb's broken!


As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom
door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

The daughter replied: ' Mom , I'm thirty-five years
old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz
coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: ' Dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip,
placed the groceries on the kitchen
counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
Posted at 3:55pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
C'mon People
Thursday, April 16, 2009
 Come read my boring blog.

Posted at 3:46pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
LOL!    Did you see the red hair that's on the top of the body you viewed???

You most certainly WILL worship my ass (and various other body parts), because the power of the the Red Hair will bend you to my will -  HEEHEHEHE!!!

Thank for the compliments hun
Added: Monday, March 22, 2010 4:44pm
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