phatbottomgirl2
Female, 62   United States
Female
Royal Palm Beach
Florida, USA
3,712 mi from you
62
Divorced
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I Like'm Both!
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5' 8"
BBW
Native American
Straight
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A long term relationship, Friends
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Still Learning
When I do not treat myself the way I want others to treat me, I can never changve the way things are.
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Opportunity
Friday, June 26, 2009

The opportunity to find happiness dances within every moment, beats within every heart, and grooves within every occurrence, situation, and event. Yet, it's amazing how many lifetimes it usually takes for someone to "get down on it" and pump up the volume.

Feel it?

All day long,

Nancy

Posted at 7:23am (MST) | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Report Post
Oh How Wonderful!
Friday, May 23, 2008

Maybe it's just me, my friends, but I kind of thought that to be alive in a world where every single moment of every single day birds fly, dolphins twirl, flowers bloom, snow falls, waves wave, rainbows rise, and antelopes... do whatever antelopes do, would forever silence doubters, inspire dreamers, and fill one's soul with absolute rapture.

Or am I being "punked"?

Posted at 4:16pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
HOW TO MAKE LOVE
Wednesday, May 14, 2008

HOW TO MAKE LOVE


Ingredients:
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana


Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4 Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until
well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover
with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften,
repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.


Notes:
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises leave town

Posted at 8:24am (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
7 Kinky Things She Loves But Won't Tell You
Saturday, May 10, 2008

7 Kinky Things She Loves But Won't Tell You

Him: Nothing?
Her: No. Nothing.
Him: How come? I touched it like you told me to.
Her: Well, what if you, um, bit it a little?
Him: You mean like this…?
Her: Ouch! Cut it out! Let’s just forget about it.

Hit a sexual slump? Don’t worry, it happens. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, per se; it just means that you probably need to work on spicing things up in the bedroom (or in the kitchen, or on the floor, or in the shower, or against the wall, or in the car, or in an elevator, or in the stairwell).

Most women need more than a “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” approach to sex. They need excitement, passion, heat, and… kink? Some women, however, may be unsure how to approach the subject, simply because “nice” girls aren’t supposed to like whips and chains. But you’d be surprised how many of them do!

Next time the two of you are lying in bed and you’re contemplating whether or not to fake a headache, try asking her if she might like “something different.” Here are seven kinky things your gal might be fantasizing about, but is probably too shy to tell you.



1- Stroke It
Masturbation is a healthy part of life, so why not share it with your partner? If you’re not too shy, put your guard down and let her watch as you get acquainted with yourself. The whole voyeurism element has a certain mystique that might appeal to her. The big perk for you is that after she watches you please yourself, she might get a few new ideas or tips on how she can improve the way she pleases you.



2- Fender Bender
Anal sex is a century-old position, but it tends to have a negative stigma attached to it. This might be why some couples have yet to venture into this unknown territory, and why some women might be a little shy when it comes to suggesting it. You can start slowly by spooning -- the position in which you both lie on your sides, so that her back is facing you. This is a very slow and intimate way of initiating anal sex. Once you’ve mastered this, you can graduate to full-fledged, passionate anal sex (you know, the kind you see in movies).



3- Tough Love
Is she a control freak? Then maybe she’d like to try a little S&M. This is the practice by which you become submissive and let her boss you around with a few props, such as whips and handcuffs. It might get a little painful at times, so before the hot-wax and nipple-pinching ritual begins, make sure you’ve established a code word, like “zebra” or “mac and cheese,” so she knows when to stop the torture (I mean, the titillating, sensual love-making). You may be wondering, “What’s in it for me?” Well, you get to help her live out a lifelong fantasy, and you make her feel happy and secure in your relationship in the process. Plus, you get to see her in a hot leather outfit.



4- Gadgets and Gizmos
Sex toys are a fun and exciting way to put some heat back in the bedroom. You can take baby steps and begin with heated and flavored massage oils, then try applying some orgasm-enhancing lubricant to her genitalia, and finally, you can use a vibrator on her.

Once you’re both feeling a little more adventurous, you can tackle the world of dildos and anal probes and beads. Use them on her, let her use them on you, take turns, or find a way to use them on each other at the same time. Regardless of how you do it, this bit of kink is sure to kick-start a heated sexual frenzy.



5- Curtain Call
If you dabbled in theater in high school, you now have the chance to star in your own show. Role-playing might be on her “Must Try” list of kinky fantasies. Map out interesting scenarios or pick real-life sexy couples to model yourselves after, then grab some fun costumes and let your imaginations guide you.

You might feel a little silly at first, but after a few “rehearsals,” you’ll probably start to like it. Some characters, like her French maid or your sultry Latin cabana boy, might start to make regular appearances in the bedroom. You might also like to tape this little production; you can watch it together afterward over some popcorn.



6- Shall We Dance?
It’s no secret that most guys would love to see their significant other do a private sexy dance for them. Some couples even go as far as to have poles installed in their bedrooms. But have you ever thought about how you would fare dancing with that pole? I bet she has.

Why not surprise her with a sexy little dance of your own? Throw on one of her favorite songs, and just go for it! Feel free to do a little practice dance in front of the mirror when you’re alone. And don’t worry about making a fool of yourself -- she’s likely to be so touched that you went through the trouble that she won’t even notice your two left feet.



7- Three’s A Crowd
For the more adventurous, thrill-seeking woman, adding someone new into the mix might be interesting. That’s right -- having a threesome isn’t only your fantasy. Some women have also entertained the idea. For those of you who are deterred by the idea of sharing your woman with another man, or just by the idea of being in bed with another man, don’t worry because another female fantasy that might come into play here is her desire to be with another woman.

Something important to note -- before you start running a list of her friends through your head as possible candidates -- is that threesomes might be dangerous for a relationship. So, make sure you discuss it thoroughly beforehand and you both understand what the boundaries and limits of this romp are.



embrace the kink
If you’ve sensed a recent lack of heat in the bedroom or if you just want to surprise her with a few sexy suggestions, kink might be the way to go. While she might not want to engage in all the suggestions listed, some might peak her interest.

Now that you’re savvy in the art of kinky female fantasies, you’re ready to sit down and have a conversation with her. Ask her if she’d like to spice things up a little, and how she feels about anal sex, using toys or S&M.

So, pick and choose a few of the kinky concepts that interest you, and bring up one or two the next time missionary’s just not cutting it.

Posted at 5:31pm (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS!
Friday, April 18, 2008

Universal truths that all men should--but don't understand


1. Saying I love you immediately before, during or after sex does not count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Posted at 7:49pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
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Added: Wednesday, June 13, 2018 8:26am
Added: Wednesday, June 13, 2012 10:58am
 Happy Valentines Day !
Added: Monday, February 13, 2012 10:31pm


The taste of ur lips 
lingers on the lips theyve never touched 
Ur beautiful eyes 
gaze at mine even though they have never seen them 
My heart pounds miles away... 
wondering if yours does too 
scared that it wont 
and deniant that i feel anything at all
Added: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:05am

Yr Just AWESOME
Added: Thursday, February 10, 2011 10:10am
Loved your pictures, and your voice is ohhhh, so sexy!!    Hey.......We are county neighbors...with me in Broward and you in Palm Beach. xoxo Chris 
Added: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 12:29pm
mmm mmmm nice just like the song says fat bottom girls make the rockin world go round



Added: Thursday, December 30, 2010 10:55am
   Sorry, "their" front yard. Yes, spelling, grammar, and punctuation do count. The written word is akin to ballroom dancing. When properly practiced they both have the potential to mesmerize.
  
   The spoken word? Well, that's when it's time to do the "Swim", the "Twist" and the " Hanky Panky".
Added: Wednesday, December 29, 2010 4:59pm
   I'm flattered to have made your morning and welcome to sunny Florida! As a longtime resident, (23 years now in the Keys), let me apologize for the recent frigid weather. I promise you I will do all I can to get it back to normal by the weekend! lol
   I, personally, have been freezing my tail off. 45 degrees is cold as hell when you don't have heat. My friends up north laugh and then I tell them that when it warms up to 45 to go out and sleep in they're front yard! They still don't get it. Oh well.
   So, where did you move from? What made you choose Florida?

Kisses right back at ya,

Carl
Added: Wednesday, December 29, 2010 4:15pm
Stunning..absolutely stunning..!!!
Added: Sunday, December 26, 2010 5:53pm
Perhaps the most thoughtful blog I have read on this site.

Celtic Bee has some of the funniest stuff. Tavyone too.
.
  I have perused this place for years mostly as a voyeur, a prelude to self gratification before I move on to outright porn. I have read some blogs, mostly self indulgent drivel. Then your profile. Of course it was the profile pic that drew me, but being bored and not all that horny, I dug a little deeper.

 Sure, your blog is a little self indulgent as well, of course, we all get that way, but you have transcended into sincerity and that is a rare quality here.

 The time I spent on you was a delight.

 Oh, and the pics, well the servers at "youporn" can take the night off!

 Don't beat yourself up to badly and sleep  tight. Hit me up if you get the urge.

 Carl
Added: Thursday, December 9, 2010 7:34pm
hey there..lovely voice u have....hope to catch u in the chatroom sometime...take care
Added: Thursday, December 9, 2010 10:50am
What a gorgeous lady with a very sensual voice! 
Added: Friday, November 12, 2010 3:56pm
So when are we going to meet?
Added: Thursday, October 28, 2010 8:33am
You sound (and look) terrific!!  I'd love to get to know you better.  I travel to Oklahoma often.  If you would like to get acquainted, please let me know.
Hope to hear from you.
 
Added: Monday, July 12, 2010 10:37pm
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