TS/TV/CD, 54   United States
Maryland, USA
2,898 mi from you
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Recuperation Time
I am going to sign off for a while to get my life together. Thank you to all of my friends and the lovely women who have inspired me to be a better person
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A final entry
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
It has been said that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

I think this is true in all aspects of our lives. Our methods of social interactions, the way we treat those close to us, or the way we treat ourselves. I have really come to enjoy many people here on this site and have made some rather close friends.

I have observed the predatory nature of both men and women and have to wonder if they ever have success in the aggressive and crude approach they have to a total stranger. I have met some people that were kind and courteous and consider them my friends. I would have loved to have known a few of them better but they were hung up on genetics. As my close friends know my soul does not fit my genetic profile. I wish those people well and would ask that they get to know a person’s soul before they judge them. Then there is the one special person I really have come to know. I have never met anyone like her before and she truly has an amazing soul. But like most of us she is haunted by the past and lost in the present. Struggling to find her way. I wish that I had the insight and knowledge to help her but in the end all I could do was be there for her and listen. I hope that by being her friend and offering gentle but firm advice I was able to help show her that there is a better life out there and she deserves so much more. My current situation is pulling me away from anything more than emails and I hope we can continue to be friends. Remember: Rule number 1 - Take care of yourself, Rule number 2 – Take care of those you love, the rest of the rules we make up as we go along….

That leaves the way that I treat myself. For years (40 to be exact) I have always known that there was something different about me. But this was before the information age and I had to rely on the knowledge and opinions of those around me. It has been a learning process to understand who I am. Many who are conflicted like me will understand the highs and lows of this personality. The periods of splurge and purge. I have tried over and over again to shift my appearance to meet my personality and soul, only to fail and be left off worse than I began. Each time takes a toll on my emotional well being and depression sets in. I know it will pass so I am not afraid of facing it again. Stronger in knowledge, richer in friends, and more experienced in love.

I am not a religious person, but I am spiritual in that I believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe in the karma that good follows good and bad follows bad. So I try to lead a good life in the hopes of finally meeting someone who will love my soul.

So now it is time to put my foolish notions away, purge the soft feminine comforts I love, face the facts of reality and hope for the best. I will miss you all here and will check in from time to time. I hope my close friends will continue to keep in touch but I will certainly understand if you don’t.

So I will sign off for now. I will be trying something different to avoid insanity.
Regina out.....
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