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Things to consider when choosing a slave or submissive
Friday, July 11, 2008

We all have different needs and desires. What one Master thinks is acceptable another thinks is deplorable. What one submissive is willing to allow another will run screaming from. I always suggest a question and answer session with a potential submissive. I wish to see how she answers, what words she uses, and to feel her out for potential problems that may arise. I have met women who wanted to be kicked in the gut repeatedly and others who had the limit of spanking or flogging. I have met some who just want to be tied down and fucked while others want to be left in a cage for weeks on end and used by many men as they desire. As a Dom I have limits as well and I wish to make sure that the sub I am speaking to does not desire things outside of my limits.
Questions I tend to ask before considering a potential submissive:
1. How old are you?
2. Are you currently involved with anyone? If so, how seriously? and how do you imagine training would fit in with it?
3. Do you have any children/dependants that would have to be taken into consideration?
4. Please describe your physical appearance completely, as if you were standing nude before me, being examined by me. Also include height, weight, measurement and dimensions of everything, sizes for every article of clothing, rings, and shoes. Every detail of your appearance should be described, and you should tell me how your body will react to touch.
5. What things are you afraid of?
6. Any health problems? (allergies, high blood pressure, drug addictions etc)
7. Tell me now about your sexual past. When was your last AIDS test? When were you last tested for any other STDs?
8. What things turn you on? both mentally - what images, thoughts, words, etc. as well as physically - where are you most sensitive, how to touch you, etc.
9. What is the favorite piece of lingerie/fetishwear that you own? That you have seen? (descriptions are good, pictures are better - urls ok, pictures of you in them would be best)
10. Why does being a submissive/slave appeal to you/what do you want from it?
11. What (if anything) do you fear about it?
12. Tell me, in detail, about your previous experiences with slavery or subbing. Also tell me about any training you've had.
13. What things would humiliate you (Esp. in a way that arouses you)?
14. What is your darkest fantasy?
15. What would you like to be part of your training? What is it that you want to seek to learn, try, and/or experience. Be as specific and detailed as you can, as it would help me a great deal.
16. Is there anything else you feel I should know about you? Anything you would like to say at this point?

Posted at 10:01am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
"SUBMISSION" What's it all about????
Thursday, July 10, 2008

I get alot of emails about what I do and many are not exactly nice though some very kind ones come through too. Most are asking me, "Why on Earth would I put myself into that situation?" or "What kind of sick fuck would do things like this?" The answer is simple and yet complicated also. I did not have the words to describe this and felt a sub would offer a much better explaination so I borrowed the following for you to contemplate.

Karen says:

Submission is not about sex. Submission is not something one can learn. It is not sex. It is not dirty. Submission is beauty. It is a beauty that comes from the very soul of a submissive woman. It is a breaking down of the walls built up in her lifetime, allowing the beautiful, sensual woman to come through.

Submission is not about sex, it is about sensuality. It is about trust, communication, vulnerability, caring, and honesty. It is about being the graceful, sensual, beautiful woman that resides within.

Submission is about knowing who you are, and what you want. A submissive is NOT a weak person, but just the opposite. She is strong. She is strong in herself, and in the knowledge of who she is. She NEVER submits out of weakness or desperation. She submits out of strength, love, and trust.

Submission is freedom. It is a letting go of one's self, knowing that the dominant is there to catch you if you falter. It is about pushing to be the very best one can be, not only as a submissive, but as a woman, a person, a human being. It is about learning, growing, and giving.

Please don't get me wrong. Submission is not about donning rose colored glasses, and the world is fine. Nothing worthwhile will ever come that easy.

Submission is also about pain. There is no growth without pain, lest it be a temporary growth. There is no freedom without the inner struggle to let go. There is no sensuality without breaking down the barriers that took years to put into place.

Posted at 7:49am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Wednesday, July 9, 2008

A specialized kind of bondage in which the whole body, including the head if some form of breathing tube is used, is wrapped tightly using materials like cling film (saran wrap or pallet wrap) and duct or gaffer's tape (also called gaffa tape in UK)[not recommended as injury/allergies occur], cloth or latex bandages until the submissive (the mummee/mummy) is completely immobilized. Holes are then sometimes made for access to genitals and other areas.

A mummy is:
1. Female equivalent (in British English) of a daddy.
2. One who is mummified, though in this case the spelling 'mummee' is usually preferred.

It isn't really like most other types of bondage. It provides the immobility and feeling of submission that other bondage techniques do, but there are added physical and emotional elements that are hard to duplicate any other way. While mummified, you will experience sensory deprivation, as you would in a sensory deprivation tank, although on a somewhat lower level. You feel not restrained, but taken completely out of your body, as though you are floating in some astral plane free from weight, feeling, sight, and sound. Only your essence remains, and you become intensely focused on the few small sensations that still remain -- your heartbeat, your breathing, and your thoughts.

Mummification can be performed many ways, but the principle is the same. Instead of saran wrap, you can use cloth or latex bandages or even leather strips, or even pieces of cloth secured with duct tape or other tapes. You can also get something of the same effect by using sleepsacks and hoods. But since anyone can obtain saran wrap or pallet wrap inexpensively, I will describe that technique here. Adhesive tapes and wraps like cling film (saran wrap) are popular for mummification but can also be used in more general bondage, for example, in hand bindings.

Duct tape is convenient in some circumstances and is readily available in black or silver. However, be careful about applying it to bare skin: ripping it off will remove hairs and possibly even skin and can be painful, and irritation may result from contact with the adhesive. Go easy, or apply it over a barrier material such as vet wrap or pallet wrap.

You'll want to have plenty of wrap available, because it takes more than you might think. It works out to somewhere around 75-100m (yards), which is three or four regular sized rolls of wrap. Placing a blindfold first will ensure complete darkness under the wrap, and will prevent the eyes from opening. If you don't have a blindfold, place a few cotton balls on top of each closed eye, and secure with a little medical tape if you wish.
Remember throughout the wrapping, that absolute comfort is important in creating the headspace which is required to maximize the experience. If you are looking for a sexually oriented adventure this probably won't do it for you! As part of a scene, however, it can be extremely effective, so don't rule it out until you've tried it. A submissive's headspace is not quite the same after being released from a good mummification as it was going in, and a good Dom, will use this fact to his or her advantage -- and of course to create an intense experience for the submissive.

You should try to have at least one helper, also, who could be either another Dom or a submissive. The assistant will be responsible for maintaining the submissive in an upright position while you work with the wrapping material. The assistant must also maintain close communication with the submissive, to make sure the experience remains an enjoyable one for all concerned. The emotional high that this form of bondage produces can become scary if the environment is not comforting and safe.

Another good reason not to attempt mummification alone is that you may need the assistant to help steady the submissive. One very basic danger is that the submissive will fall over. The process of wrapping will cause disorientation, and the loss of all sense of direction; they will often attempt to push themselves over, wrongly thinking that they are already falling, so you must be prepared to hold them upright, especially if the submissive is not experienced in this area. In order to minimize the danger of this happening, make sure the submissive understands the potential for this phenomenon, and will trust you enough to allow the falsely detected fall to happen -- which ironically will prevent a real fall from happening.

You must also provide ahead of time for safety precautions in case of emergency - whether it is physical danger or emotional overload. Surgical (bandage) scissors are ideal for cutting off the wrap quickly, since they are rounded on the submissive so they will not cut the skin. If you want to wrap the head too, you will need to have a system to facilitate breathing. One useful piece of apparatus is a piss gag, either with a firmly attached tube at least 25mm (1") wide that extends out in front or with a hole to which you can attach such a tube. The tubing will extend beyond the mummifying layers, allowing complete bondage while maintaining safety. Most people also prefer to wrap the head in muslin or some other form of light cloth before adding the pallet wrap.

Ways to Play
The submissive should stand in a location that allows plenty of room for free movement all around. Start applying the wrap by wrapping the arms. The submissive should hold them perpendicular to the body in order to allow this. Wrap from the armpit all the way down to the hand, and allow the wrap to extend beyond the ends of the fingers. This will be neatened up later, so just lay the wrap on liberally.

When the arms are well wrapped, wrap the chest. Do not simply wrap around the chest itself, but rather, crisscross the chest and shoulders. Wrap over one shoulder, down across the chest and under the armpit, straight across the back and under the other armpit, up across the chest, over the other shoulder, etc. Occasionally you should overlap the wrappings that were previously laid around the arms. There should be no gaps. Continue until you have laid several complete layers.

Proceed to wrap the rest of the body in the same manner. Wrap the legs separately before binding them together. As the wrappings go on, the subject will begin to look very much like an Egyptian mummy, hence the term mummification.

Holes can be left (or cut) in the wrapping at strategic points -- you can figure them out!
How long should you leave the submissive in mummification? It is a very intense experience so with a novice as short a time as 10-15 minutes may be enough. Some experienced players like to be left for hours on end but remember anyone so heavily restrained must be supervised at all times. In any case the subjective passing of time for the submissive will be very different from normal.

Follow the same rules as with any heavy bondage. Watch for circulation problems as with rope, but be especially careful to keep all bonding materials away from the subject's face unless you have arranged a breathing mechanism. Materials such as saran wrap can easily cause suffocation if not used with extreme caution.

Always monitor the submissive’s breathing, and keep in communication with the submissive to ensure that she is enjoying the experience. I have had novices enter intense panic attacks during the experience. If you sub begins to hyperventilate talk to them calmly and cut the free. Never jeapordize the sub's safety, mentally or physically. This experience is not for all people.

One other note, I prefer cling wrap over a naked body but the heat can be intense and you might need to give the sub lots of fluids during the experience to prevent dehydration or heat exhaustion.

Remember safety first in all situation and have fun.

Posted at 10:00am (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
Hair Bondage
Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Now that I covered all the materials you can use there is one other tool available to you in your games. Incorporating the hair in your bondage is appealing to many and for many different reasons. It dramatically increases the feeling of being restrained, it's incredibly intimate and personal, it can be painful, humiliating and it often is a very effective way to keep the head still and in position for other things, such as "forced" oral sex. These techniques were shown to me by a friend back in 2005 and I have used them since then.

Binding the hair is difficult. The hair easily slips out of every knot you tie, unless you know how to do it right. And not every technique can applied with every type of hair. Long hair is a lot easier to use of course. Short and extremely short hair may be a problem. In other words, you may to to experiment with different techniques a bit before you find the one most suitable for your own situation.

If you find the hair still slips out of the rope, try using hair spray first. This will make the hair less slippery and stick to the rope and to itself.

Be considerate with your submissive. If a strand of hair has been tied for any length of time, it may be hard to get it back into the normal style for a day or two - especially if it's usually worn loose. Hence don't do this in the event your sub has to go to work or to an important job interview the next morning.
No matter what you see on pictures and in videos, there is a certain risk. Any brisk or unexpected movement may cause someone to pull out their own hair, especially if the strand used is not thick enough. Especially if you and your submissive are inexperienced, make sure you use thick strand or an entire ponytail and never "hang" anyone inexperienced from the hair. This includes forcing someone to stand on their toes tied this way - if they fall, lose their balance or faint they may scalp themself. This can be very dangerous indeed.

Technique 1 - Japanese Braiding

Japanese bondage masters prefer special rice rope for this, but hemp will do just as well because it's a bit rough. This is a typical long hair technique and the main advantage is that it can be kept in for hours or days if you like and that - once tied correctly - you can use it for a variety of different playforms. If you're planning to use it in different forms (this goes for all forms of hair bondage) observe the pulling direction. For example, if the direction of the bondage is downward, never use it for an upward position later without changing it, since that will cause the full force to be applied on only a part of the strand which may cause your submissive to pull parts of their hair out themselves. The safest way is to put the hair in a loose ponytail at the back center of the head first.

Now what you do is you take three or four thin ropes and use them together as one rope. Lay the middle of your rope bundle behind the ponytail and wrap both ends around the tail (as TIGHT as you can) two or three times, about one third of the length of the ponytail from the head. Next divide both the rope bundle and the hair in three strands and braid them again TIGHTLY (really try doing this as tight as you can) and go down as far as you can. When done, separate the rope from the hair and tie the rope strings together with a series of reef knots (also called square knots), tight again. You can now either use the remainder of the rope bundle (if long enough) to tie it to something else or tie another rope to the end of the braided bundle to use in the rest of your bondage.

Technique 2 - The Knot Tube

This technique again is only suitable for long hair. Best use hemp rope again, about the thickness of a pencil. Seperate a strand of hair (or use an entire ponytail) and work from the middle of the rope. Wrap it around the strand, close to the head once and make a half reef knot. Now lay the strand of hair over the knot and make another half reef knot. Wrap the rope around the strand again and repeat the procedure. Repeat this over and over again. Mind you, this takes quite a while to complete and an equally long time or more to untie again so this is not something to do in the event you only have a little time. Make sure to make your wraps and knots TIGHT and be aware that a small strand or slick hair may easily slip out, despite the number of knots. Using hair spray may be a good idea in such cases.

If you want to be extra "cruel" make the strand of hair wet before tying it this way. Especially if the hair remains tied like this for a couple of hours and dries this will cause a great "semi-permanent wave" that may last one or two days, causing a similar effect bruises after a whipping or a caning has. In other words, they'll have something visible to remind them of the bondage for a longer period of time.

Technique 3 - The Ring

The final technique we'd like to discuss here is the use of a ring. This technique is probably your best best if your submissive's hair is not really long and also is the simplest one if you're not an experienced bondage master.

You can use any type of ring. Take a strand of hair, lead it through the ring and fold it around it. Make sure the part between the head and the ring is one-third of the hair and the part that's folded back is two-thirds. Now either use thin packing rope or fishing line and wrap this around the folded strand, starting from the ring and working towards the head. When finished, fold the remaining one-third upward and repeat the wrapping, this time upwards towards the ring and finally tie the rope. Make sure your wrapping is a tight as possible. When done correctly it is next to impossible that the hair will slip out of the rope and the ring of course can be used as a connection point for any other bondage. The possibilities are endless: from tying the submissive's hands behind their head to fastening the ring to something else, like a wall hook or whatever other object. The ring of course also allows for the use of quick snap hooks, so this technique is very suitable for use in combination with other things, like leather of steel handcuffs, tackles and similar gear. This too can be left in almost endlessly, provided the strand used is not too thin [if it is it's likely the tension eventually will become too much.]

Tie one of these rings in the hair, one on each side of the head, and the possibilities are endless, especially for humiliating positions like cuffing the hands to the sides of the head (and giving someone all sorts of tasks to perform, like serving dinner or pouring a drink - which will not only be difficult and thus humiliating, but will also automatically force them to pull their own hair which also makes a great form of "self punishment") or to restrain someone's head in a position for forced oral sex.

Posted at 12:14pm (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Bondage Materials for every use.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008

There are many kinds of ropes differing in material and diameters which can be used for bondage.

Cotton: Cotton-ropes tend to unravel at their ends.
It's easy to clean them by simply putting them into the washing machine. Use some conditioner to make them a bit softer. Cotton rope is my prefered tool for Bondage, I actually use 1/2" diameter high quality 70% cotton/ 30% nylon mix sailing ropes. They are extremely strong, soft, and durable.

Nylon: Knots are easy to be unfastened. The ropes ends can be melt and therefore are more stable. Not as soft as cotton ropes and a bit stiffer.

Kevlar (carbon fibers): Soft ropes. Easy to loosen knots, ends can be melt, quite expensive. This stuff is great if you can afford it. 

Hemp: Hemp-ropes are cheap to buy, but it's a rough and stiff material. I personally find hemp ropes to be too abraisive and damages the skin quite easily.

Other Material used for Bondage

Handcuffs: Handcuffs are quite useful for a quick bondage. But due to the material there are a few problems. The wrists can be cut easily or nerves can be hurt. They are also not suitable for people with allergies, esp. Nickel or Chrome.
Handcuffs are not to be used if you want to hang the passive from a hook.
Keep your Hands off cheap cuffs as those might be a risk for the lack of safety. 

Leather and steel cuffs:  Cuffs made of leather or steel can be found in many variations, with or without padding. They are easy to lock and open and and they spread the pressure equally since they are quite broad.
If you buy them, make sure that the leather is well crafted and not too stiff, leather can cut like a knife. It would be better to spend a bit more money when buying the cuffs than to regret it later.
There are special ones for suspension bondage - don't use standard cuffs for that! 

Straps:  Straps and buckles can be bought in most any home improvement store or Outdoor Shop in different sizes. One of their advantages is the universal and easy usability combined with the possibility of quick removal. 

Chains: Bondages made of chains may look really great, but because of the material's stiffness and hardness there may be some problems. Also for persons with allergies, take care that the chains are well-finished so that the passive does not get cut. Be careful not to fix the chains too tight as it might hurt the passive.

Transparent Foil:  Also known as mummification. Keep in mind that the heat will stay beneath the foil. As a result, the passive may dehydrate if you use the foil for a long period of time. Give the passive plenty of liquids to drink to prevent dehydration, and remember to make sure that your partner does not develop problems with breathing. 

Do not use the following for bondage:

Cable Ties:  Cable ties can easily cut your skin because they are quite narrow.

Duct-tape: Tape can easily hurt the skin when removed and you won't be able to remove it fast enough in any case of emergency. It can also cause allergic reactions. 

Silken scarfs: Knots in scarves are very difficult to loosen. Use them to blindfold your partner but not for any kind of bondage. Remember, just because you saw it used in a movie does not mean it is a good idea.

Clothes line: Too stiff, too thin, cuts the skin easily. Knots can be difficult to remove once they tighten. This is the material I see many novices use and end up causing severe damage to their playtoy.

Posted at 12:03pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
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