turtlesaregreen
Couple, 40   United States
Couple
Brentwood
California, USA
2,721 mi from you
40
Married/Attached
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Tickle me!
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5' 7" / 6' 2"
A few extra pounds / A little chubby
Caucasian / Caucasian
Straight / Bisexual
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A discreet relationship, Casual sex, Friends
Men
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Looking for fun!
Couples seeking men
Ask me anything we are an open book. If you arent real leave us alone☕️🍷‼️‼️. We are looking for a play mate to join us sometime. We are looking for someone we can both play with!! You need to be a bi male!!!!😈🍻🍷🍸🍹
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Nothing but a good time
nothing too serious
This blog is currently rated 4.5 out of 5
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my new crafty projects
Monday, October 28, 2013
A scarf that i have been working.....
Posted at 10:54am (MST) | Comments (5) | Add Comment | Report Post
True Story!!!
Thursday, March 28, 2013

my grama used to make the bestest icebox cheesecake. My dad and uncle were crazy over it and one Easter decided to hide it on one another. My dad hid it in the trunk of the car and my uncle found it then he in turn hid it in my grampa's tool shed.  Everytime it was hidden the other would find it.  My dad then took it and, pan and all, placed it in the crook of the birch tree. My uncle searched everywhere for the cheesecake. Shortly thereafter my grama came into the house mad as all get out. 

The birds had found the cheesecake in the tree and were partaking of it. She tried to shoo them away and a rather large crow dropped its sampling of cake right square in her face. She was not a happy camper. From then one, she became the keeper of the cake and no one got any until dessert

Posted at 12:05am (MST) | Comments (2) | Add Comment | Report Post
Kissing a friend when you’re drunk
Tuesday, January 29, 2013

#1 Kissing a friend when you’re drunk

This is pretty much the safest way to kiss a friend and get away with it. And let’s face it, more than half the first kisses between friends use this move. When you’re out with this friend you like or at a party, have a few drinks and wait for the booze to kick in. And once you’re feeling the buzz, use that as the perfect accidental excuse. Try and get the coziest spot next to your friend, preferably an isolated spot.

Start a conversation with your friend and eventually start whispering to your friend. Of course, you’re *drunk*, aren’t you? Whispering into each other’s ears is completely acceptable when you’re high!

And at some point of the conversation in between all the close facial contact, go right up and kiss your friend. The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact, but even if your friend’s not drunk, you’d still be able to sneak in a quick kiss. And your friend can’t really get upset or do anything about it, after all, you’re drunk out of your mind!

Posted at 12:37am (MST) | Comments (4) | Add Comment | Report Post
Grass Sandwich
Sunday, March 9, 2008

At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.

While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss".

She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."

Posted at 9:20am (MST) | Comments (1) | Add Comment | Report Post
Girl`s Revenge
Sunday, February 24, 2008

A girl and her boyfriend go to the pub. When it's the girl's turn to buy a round, she tells him that she's heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try.

She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses. One contains a measure of Bailey's, the other lime juice.

Instructions: "OK, what you gotta do is, you gotta swig the Bailey's, hold it in your mouth, and then drink the lime juice."

He looks a bit dubious, but she's very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go.

First the Bailey's; lovely smooth, creamy, warm feeling in the mouth. Then he takes the lime juice.

T + 0.1 secs: The cream in the Bailey's curdles.

T + 0.3 secs: Boyfriend's face turns the color of fresh lime juice.

T + 0.6 secs: Boyfriend calms his stomach & swallows the gunge.

T + 1.5 secs: She whispers in his ear....

"It's called Blowjob revenge"

Posted at 1:58pm (MST) | No Comments (0) | Add Comment | Report Post
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Happy Birthday!
Added: Friday, November 18, 2016 10:33pm
Added: Friday, November 18, 2016 8:45am
Added: Tuesday, November 18, 2014 10:00am
Added: Tuesday, November 18, 2014 1:30am
Added: Monday, November 18, 2013 6:47pm
Added: Sunday, November 18, 2012 4:39pm
IN SF lets get together.
Added: Friday, February 24, 2012 10:35am
Added: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 2:28pm
 I hope you are having a Very, Sweet, Sexy, Exciting, Birthday Baby.....
Added: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 11:52am
 Regarding those sweet looking tits ,I could be Stroknu there..yummy
Added: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 12:21am

There were three guys at a bar.

One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker.

The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.

So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. "

As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself"

Added: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:56am


Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" 

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

Added: Tuesday, January 20, 2009 10:52am

Hi-  just curious...what made you choose the nickname you've given yourself? 

Added: Sunday, May 18, 2008 4:11pm
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